Basta! May Edition

Basta! It’s that time of the month when Randy and Carmen share with us what they’ve had enough of.

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Podcast Transcript

  • Carmen: Welcome to Evolutionaries podcast. I’m Carmen Voilliqué.
  • Randy: I’m Randy Harrington.
  • Carmen: And it’s the BASTA.
  • Randy: BASTA. Yay!
  • Carmen: Yay!
  • Randy: Love it. Not really.
  • Carmen: You know, people do love it. We’re getting a lot of feedback. I think people love to hate things.
  • Randy: Well, I think everybody does share the experience of just being sick of it, just sick of it, and just want to stop, and there’s no better word than BASTA to say, “I am not fine with it” [00:00:28].
  • Carmen: Yes. For those of you who have not heard …
  • Randy: Just done with it.
  • Carmen: … our basta edition. Basta is an Italian word …
  • Randy: Italiano.
  • Carmen: … that means: enough already.
  • Randy: Enough already.
  • Carmen: Enough already.
  • Randy: And, boy, there are some things to basta out there.
  • Carmen: We never run out of things to basta. I’ll tell you, I’ve got one. Lately it’s just … this just happened to me yesterday.
  • Randy: Okay.
  • Carmen: I have been on the road for a week and a half.
  • Randy: Yes, me, too.
  • Carmen: And we always joke about being out eating chicken dinners. There’s a lot of chicken out there in America, and my new pet peeve … this week … is pounded chicken. Every fancy restaurant, banquet hall, conference place … they pound the chicken as flat as a little pancake, and then you put a bunch of crap in there, whether it be ham or cream or bacon or spinach or …
  • Randy: Something.
  • Carmen: … bleu cheese … I don’t know what it is … roll it up …
  • Randy: Turn it into a little chicken doobie.
  • Carmen: Bread it, deep fry it, put it on a plate with some really heavy sauce, and call it gourmet.
  • Randy: And call it gourmet, call it good.
  • Carmen: There’s your fancy [crosstalk 00:01:37].
  • Randy: I’ve got to tell you the thing that …
  • Carmen: Pounded chicken.
  • Randy: … that’s insidious about the pounded chicken is: the first bite is usually pretty good, but if you get through even …
  • Carmen: It’s all salty and buttery and creamy …
  • Randy: … a third of it you are doomed. Yeah.
  • Carmen: Oh, and it just sits like this huge weight in your stomach, you know.
  • Randy: Yeah, yeah.
  • Carmen: And you go, “Why did I do that,” and if you do that, it turns out, lunch and dinner several days [00:02:00] in a row, you will not feel well.
  • Randy: You will not feel well at all. Yeah. It’s a bad thing.
  • Carmen: So basta on pounded chicken.\
  • Randy: Basta on the pounded chicken. I love it.
  •  You know, I have been on the road, and my big thing has been trying to be hydrated. You’re on airplanes all the time, and you’re flying around …
  • Carmen: Yeah.
  • Randy: … and so I have been very good, and I noticed …
  • Carmen: You are good.
  • Randy: … that when I drink more water, I feel better, and so I am in this business of sucking down the water.
  • Carmen: Okay.
  • Randy: Now, I know you have some issues here.
  • Carmen: Now, when I drink more water I notice that I pee more.
  • Randy: Yeah, well, there’s that.
  • Carmen: And it’s not working for me.
  • Randy: Is that right?
  • Carmen: Oh, you know … well, we stand up in front of crowds. We’re not … our schedule is not our own.
  • Randy: No, that’s true.
  • Carmen: We’re on planes and all these other things. I can’t be peeing all the time like that.
  • Randy: You can’t be peeing all the time. Aah.
  • Carmen: Here’s the deal. I think this whole eight glasses of water a day thing … I think it’s hokum. I don’t think it’s true at all.
  • Randy: Really.
  • Carmen: I think it’s the water industry’s behind it. Now don’t quote me on this or anything. I have no …
  • Randy: It’s a water conspiracy.
  • Carmen: … but I’m just pretty sure, though, that there’s some kind of water industry conspiracy around this eight glasses.
  •  I went and I asked me doctor last year. I finally said, “Look. I can’t drink eight glasses of water every day. I cannot do that,” and she said, “You don’t have to.”
  • Randy: That was it? You don’t …
  • Carmen: I was like, “Are you kidding me? Right now you’re kidding me. I don’t have … ” but it’s always in your face. Drink, drink, drink. Water, water, water, water.
  • Randy: Now William, our famous sound engineer, told us that he drinks three 32-ounce units of water per day.
  • Carmen: And he has been sitting in this room with us already for an hour and a half …
  • Randy: And there has been no urination.
  • Carmen: … and he hasn’t had to go to the bathroom. No urination.
  • Randy: Now he could be using what David Sedaris called a “stadium pal.” Yeah.
  • Carmen: As all audio engineers do.
  • Randy: Strapped to his leg. I’ll leave that for your imaginations.
  • Carmen: All right. All right.
  • Randy: No, I understand that.
  • Carmen: I think everybody might be different.
  • Randy: Everybody … okay, I’ll give you the, “Everybody’s different.” So you’re going to basta on eight glasses a day.
  • Carmen: Basta on eight [00:04:00] glasses a day.
  • Randy: I’m going to tell you what I’m going to basta about the water. I’m in the airport buying the bottle of water because, of course, you can’t bring it in through the TSA, which is the other thing that I’ve probably basta’ed five times before, but …
  • Carmen: But one more for good measure.
  • Randy: … but one more. So I’m paying $2.99 for my bottle of water …
  • Carmen: Yes, your new bottle.
  • Randy: … and this woman is standing behind me and she taps on the shoulder and she says, “Do you know what kind of bottle that is? Do you know if that bottle’s okay?” And I was like …
  • Carmen: Is that the right kind of plastic?
  • Randy: Is that the right kind of plastic, because of what the BPAs or the … some … you know, the leakage or the seepage of the … something. And I was just like, “Oh, please.”
  • Carmen: Causes cancer, just like everything else causes cancer.
  • Randy: I just can’t deal with it. I was like … I’ve just … I’m trying to do one good thing for myself, and here you are bringing me down with the whole chemical thing. A basta on plastic bottles …
  • Carmen: Plastic bottles.
  • Randy: … and people who point out stuff like that. I didn’t need that.
  • Carmen: Oh, and the people to.
  • Randy: Yeah, the whole scene upset me.
  • Carmen: She was just trying to save you.
  • Randy: I know. Well, I don’t know what she was trying to do, but it was definitely upsetting. I didn’t care for it at all.
  • Carmen: Speaking of upsetting people …
  • Randy: Oh, yes.
  • Carmen: I’ve got to tell you.
  • Randy: Give me the basta. I know where you’re going with this one.
  • Carmen: You know, so we were at a big thing … and I won’t say what the thing was … a big thing, lots and lots of people there talking about stuff, and, you know, gathering ideas and …
  •  This individual came up and said, “Well, how do you get this other group of people into the conversation? I noticed you left them out. How did you choose who that you invited in?” and blah, blah, blah, and it was just …
  • Randy: Really snarky, I thought.
  • Carmen: Real snarky, and it was just … you know, but we were very nice. We were like, “Well, we should have done that. We will do that. We’ll look into that.”
  • Randy: “Hey, thanks for that idea. Great.”
  • Carmen: “Thank you so much. It’s such a good idea,” and really, you know, deep down you’re kind of are thinking, “Well, we probably ought to do that,” you know. Well then, two hours later, in another session …
  • Randy: Forum. In a more formal forum, she stands up again …
  • Carmen: First one to stand up …
  • Randy: “What about this? What about that?”
  • Carmen: And she says the same thing, now in front of everybody, chastises us yet again.
  • Randy: Yeah, it’s like please.
  • Carmen: It’s like, “Okay, wait a minute. This isn’t about you sharing that [00:06:00] idea. This is about you being in the spotlight.”
  • Randy: Yeah, it really is, and I’ll tell you, we work with a lot of groups, and I’m going to give a basta to those one … usually it’s one person. Basta on the person who feels like a group forum, where you’re trying to make group decisions, is just your chance to rant about your own particular point of view. Drives me up a wall. Takes the whole group offline sometimes. Creates dissention where it doesn’t need to be. It’s like: this is the 21st century. You should be able to function in a group conversation. If not, take yourself out of it.
  • Carmen: And here’s the thing: we’re not saying everybody has to get along and everybody has to agree and blah, blah, blah.
  • Randy: And we’re not saying you shouldn’t give your opinion.
  • Carmen: But the people who hide behind, “I’m going to be devil’s advocate right now,” and they’re really just using that as a forum for, “I’m going to talk about my stuff, and me, me, me, and what I care about, and derail everything.”
  • Randy: So basta on the individual nay-sayer who just kind of brings down the whole meeting. I’m just …
  • Carmen: Stop doing that.
  • Randy: I’m doing with … I mean, yeah, what do you think you’re actually doing? It drive me up a wall.
  • Carmen: All right. Enough of that.
  • Randy: So this morning … we had been on the road. This morning I get back, and what do I have … first thing on my calendar … a meeting with the healthcare insurance broker person woman who is telling me about …
  • Carmen: Very nice lady, by the way.
  • Randy: … she turned out to be awesome, but I was really dreading it because of all the Affordable Care Act stuff, and I got in … healthcare is going up, up, up, and … you know, like 20-30% year over year, and we provide extremely good health benefits to our employees; and I’m finding out that it’s costing a gazillion dollars.
  • Carmen: Yes, that you’re actually going to be homeless [crosstalk 00:07:41].
  • Randy: Exactly. That’s exactly right. And the thing that drove me up a wall was: they would give me like, “Okay, here’s the deluxe plan del grande, and it’s got this and that and this and that, and your payable is this, and your up … you know, maximum … your Rx, and all these kind of things, and so then I’d repeat it [00:08:00] back to her.
  • Carmen: Okay, let me get this straight.
  • Randy: Okay, so what you’re saying is, “Blah, blah, blah,” and they she would say, “Yes, as  long as your 100, 100, and you’re bundled.” And I was like, “Oh, what does that mean?” I mean, please. You know …
  • Carmen: Two hours later.
  • Randy: Two hours later we’re having this conversation, and I still don’t really understand it.
  • Carmen: You don’t know what you decided.
  • Randy: I don’t know what I decided.
  • Carmen: Healthcare.
  • Randy: Yeah, we’re just going to start bleeding …
  • Carmen: Healthcare in America.
  • Randy: … bleeding our people. “Oh, you have a cold here. Let me bleed you. I’m going to put leeches on your forehead because that’s the way we roll.”
  • Carmen: Basta on healthcare.
  • Randy: Basta on the … yeah. It’s like … you know, we’re trying to do the right thing, but I just … it’s just not happening in any way that’s meaningful to me. And I’m willing to pay for it. It drove me up a wall.
  • Carmen: So I have been in a lot of meetings lately, and I’ve led a lot of meetings lately, in a lot of different venues, and I would say, in the last two years, maybe one in ten times a projector works the right way.
  • Randy: Ah!
  • Carmen: Or more often than not, you say, “I’ve absolutely got to have a projector for this meeting,” and you get there at Hotel X or whatever it is, and there just isn’t one.
  • Randy: Yeah. Yeah.
  • Carmen: You know? It’s like … remember the 14 emails we sent you about how we needed a projector in here?
  • Randy: Yeah.
  • Carmen: And you are actually charging us for it and there’s no projector?” “Oh, yeah. We’ll get right on that.”
  •  Why don’t projectors work with different laptops?
  • Randy: I know. It’s an issue.
  • Carmen: I just … so I don’t know if anybody else out there is having a lot of problems with projectors, but I just think projectors are a problem.
  • Randy: I … well, yeah, it’s … and I will tell you how bad that is because … I’m going to ruin your day … I actually had a great projector experience. I was working in Tampa, Florida, last week. They had this big, ginormous projector in there, and the AV guy is saying, “Well, here’s your projector and here’s what you do,” and I was like, you know, “Yeah. I’ve run a projector before. I get it,” and he goes, “No, this one’s really cool. Check it out.”
  •  On the remote that [00:10:00] he hands me … I’m projecting my PowerPoint slides up on the screen, and there’s a button on the remote that says, “freeze.” I can press that button that says, “freeze;” it’ll keep the image that’s up on the screen, but now my laptop is free, so if I want to see what the next slide is or if I want to change a slide or if I want to add something, you don’t have to go put a book up in front of the thing.
  • Carmen: Imagine that.
  • Randy: It’ll just hold that image, and then you just press “freeze” again and now you’re back being live again.
  • Carmen: Yeah, well, good for you.
  • Randy: I had a …
  • Carmen: So on Friday I used a projector that was …
  • Randy: Aah, ooh …
  • Carmen: It was yellow.
  • Randy: Oooh, yeah.
  • Carmen: The whole screen was … we’ve been talking a lot about urination, and so I’m telling you, it was urine …
  • Randy: Looked urine …
  • Carmen: … yellow.
  • Randy: This is the …
  • Carmen: And so then we …
  • Randy: Basta, the urine edition.
  • Carmen: The urine edition. I’m telling you, it was yellow …
  • Randy: Yeah, and that’ll upset anybody. It’s hard to be thinking about business when you’re looking at a urine screen.
  • Carmen: When everything’s yellow.
  • Randy: Yeah, I know. That’s a big problem.
  • Carmen: Well, anyway, good for you.
  • Randy: Basta on bad projectors.
  •  Now here’s an issue for you. And this is a complex basta. This is like a three-step basta. I’m, you know, struggling, trying to get fit and whatnot, and so it’s an issue for me. I’m noticing it. And I’ve been meeting these people that I’ve known for years, and they come up to me, “Hi, Randy. Hi,” and I look at them and they look awesome.
  • Carmen: Ah, and they’re all skinny and beautiful.
  • Randy: They’re skinny. They’ve done their hair different.
  • Carmen: Fit and healthy.
  • Randy: They’re fit. Their teeth are all sparkly white and everything, and I’m like, “Whoa! What did you do, man? What’s your program? How did you, you know, transform yourself?” and they go, “Oh, yeah,” and then they kind of roll their eyes a little bit like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha,” and then we talk for another eight seconds and I find out, “I’ve just gone through a divorce.”
  • Carmen: Aaah.
  • Randy: Four people like in the last week I’ve talked to that are skinny …
  • Carmen: And gorgeous and divorced.
  • Randy: … and gorgeous and divorced. Have had a recent divorce. And so it’s like, “Really?”
  • Carmen: Basta! Basta on people …
  • Randy: Is that what it takes? Is that what you have to do to get fit in America? So …
  • Carmen: Get a divorce?
  • Randy: Yeah. So I came home and I told my wife, [00:12:00] I said, “This is it, Dear.”
  • Carmen: Here’s the solution.
  • Randy: Here’s the solution. It’s just going to be a faux divorce.
  • Carmen: It’s a last-resort thing, but this is what we’re going to have to do.
  • Randy: We’re going to have to just pretend the our … we’re going to have to fool our bodies into thinking … you know, but we’ll still … anyway, it’s ridiculous. But basta on these people who, all of a sudden, just get totally fit. But I think it … I don’t know. It says a lot about marriage, maybe, and it says a lot about …
  • Carmen: But that’s another podcast.
  • Randy: That’s a … whoa …
  • Carmen: All right. Basta on skinny divorced people.
  • Randy: On skinny divorced people, yes. Basta on them.
  • Carmen: Okay. Well, this is an excellent edition of … I don’t know where this is going next.
  • Randy: Oh, my gosh.
  • Carmen: Um.
  • Randy: Um. Well, yeah, I do know where this is going next. This is our …
  • Carmen: Yeah, we’ve both had this experience in the last day.
  • Randy: And I bet you dollars to donuts that everybody who’s listening to this podcast had this experience, and you will share this basta. Today is … I don’t know what day of the month it is, but it was the day … this is the day after the bombs blew up at the …
  • Carmen: Boston marathon.
  • Randy: … Boston marathon, killing now three people at this count and injuring close to 200 in serious ways, just a horrible …
  • Carmen: Terrible tragedy.
  • Randy: … screwed-up story. And so we both had the occasion to be on the road while this news was breaking, and we’re both NPR fans, we’re listening to NPR. I love NRP. This is not a dis on NPR per se.
  • Carmen: No, everybody … anybody who listens knows we love NPR.
  • Randy: But we’re driving down the road, I’m listening to NPR, and they’ve got nothing to say. They don’t know anything.
  • Carmen: Nobody knows anything right now.
  • Randy: Nobody knows … we don’t have any forensics. We don’t have any data. There’s nothing going on. But they’re talking about it for an hour, and it’s like … if … so  my basta is on news with no news. They’re occupying the whole hour, or the majority of it, saying, “We still have no information.” Well, that’s not news.
  • Carmen: “But let’s talk to somebody who runs the Beta Breakers in San Francisco. So what are you guys thinking about future … “
  • Randy: “What are you thinking? Do you think you might have a bomb at yours? I know. [00:14:00] I know.”
  • Carmen: “… marathons and that kind of thing.” Yeah, you know, it’s like …
  • Randy: Every yahoo’s opinion about everything, you know.
  • Carmen: Yeah, yeah. Basta on news with no news.
  • Randy: Basta on the news with no  news. Just makes me crazy because, I mean, all it did was really upset me. I kept turning on and off the radio. I was like, “Ah, ah, I get that. Ah, ah, I can’t listen to that anymore,” and then I turned it back on because I was …
  • Carmen: Because there might be some news.
  • Randy: Because there might be some news and I’d be upset. It’s just terrible.
  • Carmen: Okay. Well, you know what else is terrible? Senseless violence. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of all of this …
  • Randy: What … yeah, people running around, “Oh, I’ve got to go shoot people.”
  • Carmen: … hate and …
  • Randy: “Oh, I’ve got to go whack people with a knife.”
  • Carmen: I’m just tired of it. Basta …
  • Randy: Basta, basta …
  • Carmen: Basta on violence in America.
  • Randy: What is … I mean, I just don’t get it. And you know, I am like mister pacifist guy, and I’m like mister peaceful, and I don’t believe in capital punishment; but I have to tell you that these feelings, you know, run through my body like an electric current. When I see that I was like, “I hope they find that <squishing sound> and  <squishing sound>, you know, just …
  • Carmen: Well, as everybody knows who does listen to our podcasts …
  • Randy: Whack that.
  • Carmen: … Randy and I have been reading a lot of Jack Reacher books.
  • Randy: Yeah, that’s right. We’re going to …
  • Carmen: Yes, we’ve been on airplanes …
  • Randy: I want to go all Jack Reacher on their ass.
  • Carmen: And so we’re like, “Well, Jack Reacher wouldn’t put up with this crap.”
  • Randy: I know. I’m going to just friggin’ take them right out. So it’s a terrible cycle of thought that you get into in these things …
  • Carmen: You do. You do.
  • Randy: … because it’s just … there’s nothing good that comes from it.
  • Carmen: There’s nothing good, so basta.
  • Randy: If you’re listening to our podcast and you’re plotting some kind of evil deed …
  • Carmen: Knock it off.
  • Randy: Just frickin’ stop. Just put it down. Go have a sandwich. Do something, but get a life for heaven’s sakes. Man, of man. Drives me  nuts. All right, well …
  • Carmen: All right, folks, well, we’ve got more …
  • Randy: I’m exhausted.
  • Carmen: … but we’ll save it for our next edition.
  • Randy: You know, I’ve got to say, this basta …
  • Carmen: I thought we were almost done.
  • Randy: … this one is not as satisfying to me. Now I’m worked up.
  • Carmen: I can see that.
  • Randy: You know what I’m saying. Most bastas I feel like, “Okay, I’ve purged it out of my soul, but now I’m just all upset.
  • Carmen: All right. Well, on that happy note, please join us  [00:16:00] next time.
  • Randy: So, yeah. I’m going to make an appeal. If you’re hearing this and you can help me figure out the senseless violence thing, or any of the basta that you’ve heard today … the water thing … we would love to hear from you, and you can contact us at areyouevolutionary.com.
  • Carmen: Yes, and if we have managed to totally depress you, go to areyouevolutionary.com, look at podcasts, and you can listen to our other podcast, “Happiness in a box.”
  • Randy: Happiness in a box.
  • Carmen: It’ll cheer you right up. We promise.
  • Randy: Yeah, absolutely.
  • Carmen: All right. Take care, everybody.
  • Randy: All right. We love you. Take care.

Comments

  1. Susan S. says:

    Hello Basta-ers… Thoroughly enjoyed your recent update to the ongoing Basta rant! Slightly airport- and hotel-centric, but highly enjoyable nonetheless for those of us whose travel is limited to once-a-year-at-Christmas. 🙂
    I’ll state at the outset that I’m a FoR (friend of Randy)…well, actually a RoR (relative of Randy), just for due diligence. I’m here to weigh in on the water thing, as I edit a series of nutrition texts by a wonderful and responsible author team of nutritionists and researchers, and here is what they have to say about fluid intake: first, our need for fluids is highly variable and individual. It varies by weight, age, gender, activity level, climate, and health status. So there’s really no one-size-fits-all for fluids. However, there is a thing called a DRI (dietary reference intake) that provides a rough shorthand that could apply to most people. So, if you’re an “average” guy between the ages of 19 and about 70, you’ll be fine with 3 to 4 liters of water a day. Not all at once, but throughout the day. That will more than meet your water needs, and remember also that you get water from food sources, and also from your own metabolism. For an “average” woman between those same ages, you’ll be fine with about 2.5 liters a day, and if you’re especially active, you can do 3 liters. Here’s another happy piece of news: If you just want to keep it simple and stick with the old “eight glasses a day,” remember that in that scenario, a “glass” is 8 ounces. That’s not very much. A typical can of soda is 12 oz. So you could easily meet your “8 glasses a day” without swilling egregious quantities. In fact, too much water could result in hyponatremia, which is not good (albeit, hard to achieve). So, drink up but don’t stress! You’re probably meeting your requirements if you eat a reasonable amount of fruit and drink enough so that you don’t feel constantly thirsty. Here’s some more good news: tap water is fine! Really. We have quite high standards in most parts of this country for municipal tap water healthy levels (you can ask my husband, a recent “Evolutionary” inductee). If you prefer the taste of bottled beverages (or need the convenience) that’s fine, but at home or in a hotel room, all you need to do is turn on the tap. So, good news all around. Now if we could just do something about all those skinny divorcees … 🙂