And as if the industry isn’t belabored enough with a long-standing reputation for being a useless money-suck, the IRS has managed to deal a heavy blow to the nation’s perception of the value of training.

In her recent post, “What the IRS Spending Mess Shows: Nobody Gives a Hoot About Training”, Crystal Spraggins documents the tragic saga of IRS conference spending, employees accepting free food, holding parties in hotel rooms, and accepting conference gift baskets. Oh, say it isn’t true! Not free food!!

If you have ever been to a conference, or even a Saturday morning workshop for that matter, I am willing to bet you have had a free muffin and some bad coffee. Now sure, the 2010 IRS conference in question cost $4.1 million. That’s a lot of money.  But Spraggins makes a point of breaking it down – with 2,600 employees attending, that is about $1,577 per attendant, including airfare, hotel, ground transportation, and those “free” meals. Not so bad really. In fact it’s much less than any conference I have ever attended.

THE VALUE OF TRAINING

But, says Spraggins, it’s tax payer money. And that’s different. She goes on to bash the quality of conference training – saying that not only does no one care if IRS workers receive training, but also that “no one believes that these types of conferences facilitate learning.” Spraggins goes on to argue that these in-person conference/training sessions need to go the way of the dinosaur and make room for the future of training via webinars and individualized coaching services.

I’ll tackle the issue of training quality and relevance in a moment, but first, let’s just consider what happens when entities in the public sector (such as the IRS) give up on training. Because that’s exactly what happens when we attack spending in this area and demonize organizations for investing in people. We have clients in the public sector, non-profits working to prevent hunger and child abuse, as well as member-owned not-for-profit organizations like credit unions – and one thing they all have in common is an almost debilitating fear of spending money on training. We often hear things like, “we know that we need to develop our managers to run high performing teams, but if we spend that money our donors will kill us. Every dollar has to go directly to preventing abuse… or to our members… or made public to taxpayers…”. Rather than weather the storm of public judgment, it’s better to leave people untrained and struggling to perform in an unsupported environment. The message is clear: don’t invest in your people – the public scrutiny is just not worth it.

Rumor has it that high tech companies like Microsoft, Apple, Google and others spend upwards of $20 million on their employee conferences. Now, why would they do that?

Because Talent is King.

TALENT ACQUISITION

In the race for the best of the best, it turns out investing in your people is a pretty big recruitment and retention technique. These competitive companies know that attracting and keeping the brightest employees is more critical than ever for surviving in an increasingly complex marketplace. Similarly, in a time when the U.S. faces heavy global competition and internal economic strife, we need only the most talented and passionate individuals committed to public service and governmental leadership.

Business and Training guru Tom Peters has long been a champion of transitioning from traditional “Training” to “Talent Development”, stressing that for every organization, “Talent is your brand, and you have to own your brand.” This means that talent acquisition now goes way beyond standard recruiting practices such as sourcing, screening, interviewing, assessing and hiring. It means attending to organizational image, culture, reputation, and services. It’s about the “word on the street” for what it’s like to work for your organization. Is it fun? Is it cool? Are people smart? Do they like each other? Do they support each other? Do they work well as a team? Will I be able to learn and grow? Will I be rewarded for my hard work?

In the race for talent, what benefits can the public sector offer to recruit the next generation? Yes, the “perks” of public service need to pass muster for adding value and contributing to a productive and effective workforce, but perks there must be. I’m just sayin’…

TALENT DEVELOPMENT

Once you have this top talent, how do you keep them? Mountains of books and articles have been written on how to retain employees, and I won’t try and sum it all up here – but one thing that definitely matters is for people to feel a sense of progress. Progressing in our careers consistently rates higher in importance for job satisfaction and loyalty than pay, benefits, and work environment. And a big part of career progress is learning and development – or, training.

Tom Peters is angry over the state of training today. He laments the fact that as training has become “everyone’s job” the importance of training has diminished rather than grown as it should have. Because we are operating in a time when everything needs to change, everybody becomes a trainer, and the boundary between what used to be training and the daily operations of the organization has vanished. “Training now means so many different things that it has become fundamentally meaningless.” Hence, the scramble to rename it.

But whatever you call it, the fact remains that some people implement it poorly and some people implement it well.

So, now let’s talk about that IRS conference….

If we base our judgment of the conference quality from the highlighted news clips over the last few weeks, then the value is clearly questionable. If however, what we saw was 15 minutes of “fun” in what was otherwise three days of substantive content, learning and networking, then perhaps it was not so bad after all. My guess is that like most conferences, it was something in between the two.

What disturbs me is that this IRS fiasco has cast a shadow on all conferences, in fact all live training sessions. The value of in-person learning and networking is yet again under attack. And while I am a big fan of electronic webinars and video conferencing (let’s face it, air travel is only getting worse), I also know that remote/virtual/electronic training, coaching and development has its limitations. Live, in-person, group-based learning is needed in business – the key is knowing when and how to use it.

At Strategic Arts and Sciences, we have a simple criteria for evaluating when to bring people together for a live learning session. We ask: “Are the content, development, and knowledge to be gained in this session something that can be obtained no other way than in person, with other people, at the same time?” In other words, will participants leave the session saying, “Yeah, that was the best way to deliver that content. I really learned a lot.” If the answer to this question is YES, then go ahead and pitch that live session learning experience!

DON’T FORGET THE NETWORKING

photo credit by Dell’s Official Flickr Page

You will notice that I put “networking” on that list of conference value-adds. Not only is networking an important part of conferences and live training sessions, one could argue it is, in fact, the most important part. Our clients often tell us that they find the networking to be the most valuable element of conference meetings. The reason for this is because so much of the wisdom contained in a profession, industry, or system is hidden under the surface of the sessions and events taking place out in the open.

While expert instructors and speakers blast messages in keynote speeches and videos at the participants, most attendees describe their “Eureka!” moments happen in the small group breakout sessions with peers, in clusters at the coffee kiosk, even in the hallways (or, let’s face it, the bathrooms).

And it is precisely this sharing of deep wisdom, collaborative idea generation, and relationship building that provides the grease for business and systems to run smoothly, efficiently, and cohesively. Bottlenecks in productivity and performance almost always come down to rifts or miscommunication between people in a system. Good conferences, meetings, and live training sessions can connect people in ways that build knowledge, increase understanding and remove roadblocks.

DON’T SCREW IT UP.

So, now that you have committed to bringing people together to learn something – you need to do it right. Expectations of the experience will be high. Participants (and in the case of the IRS, the general public) will be judgmental and evaluative of whatever you offer. So here are some tips:

• Remember the Big Picture. Don’t be tempted to just stick to the nuts & bolts, a laundry list of new rules, products details, or compliance issues and neglect the current landscape, economy, political environment, and cultural shifts that participants are facing in the given industry, system or organization. Don’t let them leave saying, “Well, now I know how to file an IT helpdesk request, but I sure wish they would have explained our strategic goals for this year.”
• Remember the Details. On the other hand, don’t fall into the trap of just dealing with the big sweeping issues and neglect the nuts & bolts. You also don’t want participants to leave saying, “Well, great, the 5-year development plan sounds good, but I still need to know how to get my password established for access to the new database!”
• Make it Experiential. People learn and retain content the best when they are actively engaged in the learning process. (You may want to avoid the group dance lessons as shown in the IRS footage in favor of something like a team based competition that includes a small project to solve a system problem and then a live presentation, for example).
• Don’t skimp on the Facilitators: In our experience designing high-quality experiential live learning is tough stuff. Even the most seasoned facilitators and speakers can screw it up. The best facilitators are those who can execute on an experience that may seem “easy” on the surface, while at the root it is based on fundamental truths and principles of learning that are quite difficult to master. Invest in facilitators who design relevant and engaging sessions that also incorporate complex dialogs and group interactions. Such discussions can be unpredictable, but with an experienced facilitator at the helm, they provide a much richer learning experience than the traditional “sit and eat a muffin” sessions that make up most conferences.
• Elevate the importance of Networking. Make the networking a more important part of the conference – consider substituting the dreaded cocktail party for a series of “world café” style coffee “trios” – moving people from one small conversation to the next with informal prompts designed to kick off key industry topics.

The bottom line is: don’t give up on live learning and networking experiences like conferences. They can be outstanding tools for bringing people together to drive strategic goals and improve performance across systems and industries when done well. Yes, let’s slap the IRS’s hand for sure. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bath.

The post Training’s Reputation Takes Another Blow appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

Now any sociologist, psychologist, anthropologist, or hell, even an economist will tell you that fear is a necessary human emotion. Fear is a great teacher. Being afraid of heights is good because falling and dying is bad. Fear often defines greatness. Most of my heroes are people who are not afraid to say they are afraid—but they have learned to work through and even use their fear to achieve amazing goals.

Let’s get back to my work colleague with ophidiophobia (snakes). It would be one thing if she had a strong fear response when she saw a four foot coiled diamondback rattlesnake hissing and rattling five feet in front of her as she walked down a path. It is another thing to freak out in the garden section of Home Depot as she sees a stack of coiled hoses. Fear can be rational and helpful—and it can be non-rational, petrifying, and debilitating.

In Frank Herbert’s amazing science fiction opus Dune, the protagonist observes that “Fear is the mind killer, it is a little death.”

When we are captured by irrational fears (fear of carpeting for example) or when we have an excessive reaction to reasonable fears (snakes, sharks, IRS agents) we become frozen, unable to act, irrational. In Al Gore’s book, The Assault on Reason he says that “…fear is the greatest enemy of reason.” When driven by fear we build prejudice and create division. He quotes Supreme Court Justice Brandeis saying, “Men fear witches and burn women.”

For the past twenty years I have made a formal and informal study of leadership. Many of my ideas along with the wonderful insights of Carmen Voilleque are described in our book, Evolutionaries. In a recent discussion with two very successful Evolutionary executives it occurred to me that many of the techniques these executives were using were really strategies for mastering the kinds of fears that keep others from making change, being strategic, being innovative, or even being compassionate.

Again, from The Assault on Reason, Gore says, “Leadership means inspiring us to manage through our fears.” Yes, yes, yes. Evolutionary leaders know how to identify the rational and non-rational elements of fear that freeze action. What are the fears that cripple organizations? Here is my top five list—I am sure you can add more of your own:

1. Fear of Failure and fear of Success
2. Fear of being an outsider
3. Fear of being caught as an imposter
4. Fear of being disliked or maligned
5. Fear of conflict

The connection between leadership and managing fear is incredibly powerful. Back to Gore’s observation that leaders inspire us to manage fear; I like the notion of connecting “fear” and “inspiration.”  When we are inspired by clear and compelling values; we face down fear.

I was one of the millions stunned by the incredible beauty of “the woman in a red dress” captured by a journalists camera during recent protests in Istanbul.  There she is, so apparently relaxed, being blasted with tear gas in front of a line of battle dressed riot police. The picture in this blog is low resolution, go find a good clear version—it is amazing.

Certainly a wall of armed and armored men would be frightening, but our heroine faces them down with strength and dignity. She is protesting she is making a statement; she is standing for strong values.  Values push us through fear.

It was fifty years ago that Medgar Evers was shot in the back and killed by Bryan De La Beckwith. The act instantaneously galvanized the civil rights skirmishes of the early 60’s into a full-fledged social movement. As for the Lady in the Red Dress—her image is already being leveraged in incredibly powerful ways. My favorite example is a series of posters that went up in Istanbul hours after the event—she is Photo-shopped as being very large compared to the riot policeman. The caption reads, “When you do this we just get bigger.” That is cool—and powerful.

Back to leadership: the prescription is that leaders can manage fear with clear values—that create inspiration.  OK I admit, that sounds a little woo woo even for me.  But guess what, inspiration—like fear—can be managed.

British author Somerset Maugham (my favorite of his books is The Razors Edge—yep Bill Murray was in the movie…) was asked if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. He replied, “I write only when inspiration strikes, fortunately it strikes every morning at nine sharp.”

I love it. Maugham is telling us that we have control over all aspects of our mind if we build the discipline and the physical practices that allow us succeed.

So here’s the deal:

• Fear is operating in your organization right now in hundreds of obvious and not-so-obvious ways.
• Fear attacks reason and it feeds resistance.
• Fear creates prejudice and “us versus them” scenarios.
• Fear freezes people.
• Leadership must manage fear.
• Inspiration and values help people move past their fears.
• Inspiration is a resource that you can control, with practice and disciple.

So how am I going to deal with my colleague’s fear of snakes? I suggest she memorize Frank Herbert’s “litany” about fear.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.^*

Repeat as needed while working in the garden this summer. Or, move to Hawaii—no snakes there at all.

The post Fear is the Mind Killer appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

My condo building

I love to watch house hunting shows on HGTV (yes, I know they are often staged) and I am surprised at how parents worry over the size of kids bedrooms. “Kids are small! They don’t need a lot of room!” is something my 10-yr old daughter likes to shout at the people as we watch. You see, she LOVES her room. She designed it herself. It’s blue, her favorite color. It has a custom-made full size murphy bed that she can fold up against the wall so she can have her “dance parties” or spread out her art projects. And she has a magnificent view of Mt. Hood out of her large 20^th floor windows. She can watch the Rose Festival fireworks show right from her bed. Our condo building has a small lawn, a wading pool with a fountain, a deeper pool and deck, barbeque pavilion, and shared garden too – right in the center of the city. She can walk to parks, play structures, festivals, the river, ice cream carts, the library and the children’s theater. What’s not to love?

View of Mt. Hood from downtown

TINY LIVING IS THE NEW HIP THING.

In NPR’s story on Tiny Living this week “The Rise Of Small Spaces” the focus is on a shocking trend where people are choosing to live in as little as 90 sq. ft.  (My condo is 1320 sq. ft. – a palace in comparison!) . After word on the 90 sq. ft. apartment got out, the contest was on, and it took mere days for a young man in Manhattan to post his video of living in just 78 sq. ft. Such stories have sparked multiple sites for blogs, videos, and sharing stories of tiny living across America, including a new movie titled: “Tiny: A Story About Living Small.”

This sort of “micro-living” appeals to some people for the sheer adventure or weirdness of the experience. For some, it is a philosophical commitment to shunning possessions and/or living green with a minimal environmental footprint. Of course, if you live in Hong Kong these dwellings are simply the norm – a Tiny House is just a house.

LET’S GET REAL.

For the vast majority of Americans, living in less than 100 sq. ft. is insane. But while the Tiny Living trend is radical to most of us, a move toward downsizing and simplifying, is something almost all of us can do. And according to many experts, it’s something we may have to do.

Economists and Sociologists predict we will see more people living in smaller dwellings as the nation continues to trend toward urbanization, sustainable living, and cost savings. As fuel prices increase and more jobs move to cities, young professionals will likely choose to live close to work. As heating and air conditioning prices continue to rise, and public transportation continues to improve, small urban spaces make more economic sense. But as these young professionals start families, living small can be more complex. Urban planners are responding – with more downtown zoning for mixed use buildings and condo projects that have minimum requirements for “family” accommodations – such as 2-3 bedroom units. More focus is being placed on downtown walkability, safety, schools, child-friendly activities, and daycare options. These planners know a secret – when families live downtown, urban areas stay cleaner, more vibrant, and attract more business.

IT’S NOT EASY. BUT IT SURE AIN’T HARD.

Now, you might be saying, “Sure, it’s easy if you are young, and don’t have much stuff to begin with. But what about all of us who would have to significantly downsize? That sounds like a lot of work and pain!” And you’re right – it is a lot of work, and some if it is sad. But it’s also cleansing. You free up more than just your time and your pocketbook. You free your mind – to take on new challenges and explore new ideas, hobbies, and community involvement.

Fact: Unless you’re of the Downton Abbey crowd and have live-in staff, or an incredibly energetic and detail-oriented stay-at-home partner,  your big house is limiting your Evolutionary potential. In our book Evolutionaries: Transformational Leadership, we explain that the best leaders of positive change are those who “cast their net wide” – explore, read, travel, try new things, meet new people, take classes, go on adventures, etc. But, it’s hard to cast your net wide when you are chained to your house. From the never-ending maintenance to the weekend yard work, to the hoards of family and friends that always want to come and stay with you because they know you have 8 extra beds and will cook meals for 20 on short notice. The cleaning, the heating, the painting, fixing the gutters, edging the lawn, hanging the holiday lights – it’s giving me PTSD just thinking about it…

Yep, that’s right. I’ve been there. Before moving to our small condo, we lived in a 4200 sq.ft corner lot Victorian. Three car garage. Two libraries. A music room. Front, side and back lawns with multiple water features and a koi pond. A big wrap around porch in front and a huge deck in the back. A hot tub (who knew how much work they could be!) and a large rose garden.

And here’s the thing about that big, beautiful house. If you have a three car garage, you start to think you need three cars. If you have a music room you start thinking you need a grand piano, some drums, a few guitars (OK like six guitars), and a poker table. Well, ok maybe most people wouldn’t need a poker table, but we felt it rounded out the room nicely. And if you have a sitting room off your master bedroom then you need to buy sitting room furniture to go in the sitting room, even if you never sit there. The more fireplaces you have the more Christmas figurines and socks that you need to go on them during the holidays. Large front porches need rocking chairs, side tables, a porch swing and plants – even if you always sit on the back deck. All right, you get the idea…

It got to the point where our investment of time, money, and psychological attention in this glorious dream home was keeping us from our dreams – to travel, to explore new lines of work, to see more plays, concerts, festivals, give more time and money to non-profits, visit friends and family, and just generally explore the big world outside of our suburban neighborhood without worrying about the roses that needed pruning, the deck that needed sanding, and the three cars that needed new tires, service, and washing. Keeping up with all the material things we had accumulated was exhausting.

And so one day we gave it all up. We sold the house. We sold all the cars but one, and the camp trailer (it turns out you can rent those!). We sold some furniture and art. We gave some to my parents and my brother. We gave some to charity. We sold a lot of books and got e-readers instead. We gave away the ice cream machine, the bread maker, the asparagus tongs, the toast rack, the mandolin slicer, and several other kitchen items it turns out you never really use. And it was a little sad. But today, eight years later, I don’t miss a thing. In fact, I continue to downsize – realizing each year that there is more that I don’t need.

My co-author, Randy Harrington gave me a gift several years ago – a wall hanging with a quote from the 14^th Dalai Lama that says,

“We have bigger houses but smaller families, more conveniences but less time… we have become long on quantity, but short on quality. These are times of fast foods but slow digestion. It’s a time when there is much in the window, but nothing in the room.”

It hangs in our small condo today as a reminder not of what we gave up, but of what we gained.

The post Tiny Living: It’s Evolutionary! appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

Podcast Transcript

• Carmen: Welcome to Evolutionaries podcast. I’m Carmen Voilliqué.
• Randy: I’m Randy Harrington.
• Carmen: And today we’re going to talk about strategic planning.
• Randy: <fanfare>
• Carmen: Waa, waa.
• Randy: Yeah, see that’s what happens. You say strategic planning and people are, “Ohhh … “
• Carmen: I’m bored just thinking about starting this podcast.
• Randy: The eye roll.
• Carmen: No, I’m just kidding.
• Randy: I know. Well, that’s … yeah.
• Carmen: That’s what happened to you recently.
• Randy: It did. I’m a plane and we were talking … I was talking with this guy. I usually don’t talk to anybody on a plane, but the guy started up a conversation, said, “Oh, where are you coming from?” and I said, “Oh, you know, coming from Chicago.” “What did you do?” “Oh, I did a strategic planning session,” and he’s like, “Strategic planning?” and he gets this really kind of animated, goofy look on his face and then he goes, “Boring,” and then he goes, “Time suck,” and then he said … the last thing he said was, “You know, the plan is crap before it even hits the page.”
•  I thought, “Wow. Man.”
• Carmen: This could be a long flight.
• Randy: “This is … you just really kind of laid it right out there for me, though,” and the guy was kind of a tool and he was that was the whole flight; but, you know, my point was, in my heart, I went, “You have no idea, Dude. You have no idea. Because I’m seeing that the really jamming organizations, the ones that are really making a difference, are embracing strategic planning, and they’re looking at it in entirely new ways.”
• Carmen: Now you just wrote a blog, actually, because this really got you fired up.
• Randy: It did.
• Carmen: And I love when people say things like that to you that get you fired up, because you write the best darn blogs.
• Randy: When I get a little big pissed off.
• Carmen: So you can go check that out at areyouevolutionary.com. He’s got a blog, basically: Strategic planning, boring time suck.
• Randy: Boring time suck.
• Carmen: And I love your opening to it because you say, “It’s not rocket science; it’s much harder than that.”
• Randy: That’s right.
• Carmen: And proceed to share ten steps …
• Randy: Yes.
• Carmen: … to understand …
• Randy: To building …
• Carmen: … to really … you’ve got to understand these phases … ten phases, I guess, is probably what I should have said …
• Randy: Yeah.
• Carmen: … that you’re going to go through if you’re going to go through if you’re going to do this right.
• Randy: Yeah, and what is this? [00:02:00] Let’s start with that.
• Carmen: Okay.
• Randy: You know, so what this is is a process, a dialog, a conversation with the whole organization, maybe even with your partners, maybe even with your customers, that constitutes a way to create priorities and focus for the entire organization on an ongoing basis. So we’re not talking about an event, we’re not talking about something that’s just written in a binder and put on a shelf, we’re talking about a very complex communication process that the net result is clarity and focus in your short-, middle-, and long-term plans.
• Carmen: And everybody in the organization is able to make better, more confident decisions.
• Randy: Absolutely, and when you take a look at an organization that’s really rocking, that is what happens; and we have seen it happen.
•  We’ve seen it happen, and when it does it’s just a magical thing. Organizations literally do the impossible.
• Carmen: Yeah.
• Randy: Yeah.
• Carmen: But before you get to the magic part, you’re going to go through a special little strategic planning underworld.
• Randy: Yeah, absolutely.
• Carmen: Those are the first phases. You talk about phase I as being … you’re already doomed if you think that this is going to solve all your short-term problems, so the first thing you have to do in phase I is accept that this is a big old long process.
• Randy: Well, that’s right, and I think people go into this … you know, they’re bringing all of their issues to the table, they want the strategic plan to resolve those problems, and I can tell you it’s just not going to happen. It’s not going to happen now, it’s not going to happen next week, it’s not going to happen next month, it may not even happen next year; and so then a lot of people go, “Well, God, that’s … “
• Carmen: Well, then why are we even doing it?
• Randy: ” … why are we even doing this? This really sucks.” Because you really have no choice. You’re either going to get control of your future or it’s going to control you, but I think the big first mistake people make is that they have a ridiculous sense of impatience when it comes to beginning a strategic planning process. This is really hard.
• Carmen: All right. So I’ve accepted that this is going to take a long time.
• Randy: Yep.
• Carmen: And that’s not the end of the bad news because …
• Randy: Nope.
• Carmen: … it turns out [00:04:00] phase 2 is I’m going to meet a whole bunch of nay-sayers that I don’t even expect.
• Randy: That’s right. You know, you thought you knew all of the curmudgeons and …
• Carmen: I know. I had a list, actually.
• Randy: … idiots in your organization. Yeah. You thought it was those six people other there, four people over here. Well, when you really start trying to move a strategic dialog in earnest across the organization, people will push back, and they push back in aggressive ways, and all of a sudden you’re going to be hearing, you know, strong negativity from people you never expected.
•  You know, you’ll be … like the wonderful person who greets you every morning, “Hi. How are you? Great to see you.” Then when you start doing this process and you actually ask her for feedback, she’s going to tell you, “You know, this doesn’t matter, and I don’t know why you’re wasting our time with this, and this is just a big problem, and … ” You know. It’s like, “Gollee, really?”
• Carmen: Hmm.
• Randy: You will get negative reinforcement when you try to create alignment in an organization.
• Carmen: So from even people that are usually pretty positive?
• Randy: Exactly. They’re positive because they’ve just give up.
• Carmen: Mmm.
• Randy: And this is … they’re just going to put a happy face on their day and go home; but if you actually start trying to do something … boy, you’re going to get big resistance, big pushback.
• Carmen: All right, well that kind of takes us to phases 3 and 4 … I’m going to lump these together … but you say this process piece is not going to give us any clarity, and the people who aren’t complaining are going to not talk to you at all.
• Randy: That’s right. As you start getting some feedback, you’re going to find out just how screwed up your organization really is, so you’re going to go, “Hey, I’m going to do a … you know, executives do this all the time … I’m going to go do a listening tour,” you know, “I’m going to go …
• Carmen: Yeah, they go to every department, every location.
• Randy: … I’m going to go to every department, I’m going to go talk to everybody, and then they come back and they just want to drink gin and lay on the floor because they found out … the little bit that they did find out was: every single screw-up that’s out there … because people go, “You know what? I know this process isn’t going to work, so what I’m going to do is I’m going to take my one opportunity to just spew venom and bile as much as I can and fight for my particular point of view because [00:06:00] I know this is my one chance to get on the table,” so the executive that’s out doing all this listening just comes back with 60 completely distinct, often combative, frustrating points of view to deal with.
•  And then the rest of the organization … when he goes to them and goes, “Hey, I just heard this from accounting. What do you think?” They’re just going to look at you like, “Huh? What?” They’re not going to say anything. They’re going to go, “Hey, man, that’s not my fight. I’m not going to get involved in that.” So the people that could make a difference are just going to stand back with their arm folded and stare at you.
• Carmen: Wow. You know, I just did a tour like this that you’re talking about.
• Randy: Mhm.
• Carmen: Actually, I’ve done a couple of them in the last few months, and the other thing I heard happens is, when the executives come in … see, for me doing it as a consultant is one thing, and it has its own set of issues …
• Randy: Right. Right.
• Carmen: … but what they said is, when an executive come in, the whole place transforms.
• Randy: Oh, yeah.
• Carmen: Everybody’s happy.
• Randy: Oh, yeah. “Hi, how are you?”
• Carmen: Look at the happiness.
• Randy: Yeah <whistling> They’re all whistling a jaunty tune. Yeah.
• Carmen: Yeah, and it’s just good times.
• Randy: Yeah, but it’s …
• Carmen: And so I hear from CEOs all the time that, when they go out and they do the tour, they see like none of the problems that everybody’s telling them about …
• Randy: Yeah, “I don’t know what everybody’s talking about.”
• Carmen: … they’re not even out there. It’s not true.
• Randy: Yeah. This is exactly what I’m saying, you know, you just get negative … I mean, you either get noninformation or actually wrong information.
• Carmen: All right, so we got all that going for us in …
• Randy: But you have to … and this is where you have that gut check and you go, “I should just quit this job. This just sucks. I shouldn’t be doing this.” But if you really … you just have to keep on doing the right thing. Every single week, every single month, you’ve got to give people an opportunity to get into the conversation, and it has to be genuine; and you just keeping doing it, keep doing it, keep doing it. What does that look like? Surveys …
• Carmen: So that’s phase 5 and phase 6 and that you talk about as you’re saying that it’s okay except that nobody knows the exact answer. This is the strategy or this is the plan right now …
• Randy: Right. They don’t … yeah.
• Carmen: … and then look at as this long-term, down-the-calendar, bite-by-bite …
• Randy: Keep going. You know, it’s that wonderful thing, “There are inches around us everywhere,” whatever that was from, that movie …
• Carmen: Oh, it’s A Game of Inches.
• Randy: [00:08:00] It’s A Game of Inches. Yeah. It’s … Al Pacino.
• Carmen: Al Pacino. Yeah.
• Randy: That’s what this is. This is that moment where you just have to fight for those little inches everywhere you can because eventually it will begin to change.
• Carmen: Finally, phase 7.
• Randy: Phase 7 what happens.
• Carmen: You only  have to get to phase 7, folks.
• Randy: And when phase 7 happens, it will happen like this: somebody who you never counted on, you never thought about, is going to come to you and say, “Hey, I had a really cool idea because of that meeting that we had around the strategic plan, and what if we were to do this, this and this,” or, “I think this and this and this could happen, and I think I could make that happen.” You’re going to all of a sudden see people stand up that you never expected, and they’re going to be the ones that come to you kind of … and almost whisper to you, “Hey, I think this is cool, and I think here’s what we could do,” and, oh, that’s a point of magic.
•  In the article I say it’s like that moment what you’re trying to make a fire in the forest at your campsite, and you just get those little sparks. Those little sparks are starting, and you you’re, you know, you’re blowing on the little <blowing sounds> and you’ve got your little pine needles in there, and it’s just starting to smoke, and you’re like, “Aah,” and you see that first little flame pop up … that’s what’s going on here. You’ve just made fire, and it’s an exciting moment.
• Carmen: Nice. And so now everybody’s excited, you’re excited. In phase 8 you say, “Take it easy, Buckaroo.”
• Randy: That’s right because … and I have … this is a mistake I’ve made 174 times. I go, “Oh, my gosh,” you know, and the organization’s, “Oh, my gosh,” and pretty soon people are high-fiving, oh, and then they’re all saying, “Wow, this is such a great process that we’re in. Oh, aren’t we fabulous. We’re more fabulous than anybody else,” and then they get crazy because they believe they can do anything.
•  And so … then it’s like, “Let’s have 19 … “
• Carmen: Just drunk with power.
• Randy: ” … major strategic initiatives. Let’s do these 700 things, and let’s change the world,” and it’s just like, “Whoa.” The metaphor I would use there is just like you just took a big wet pine log and put in on your little tiny flame. You know <raspberries>, it’s gone. You just killed your fire because, all of a sudden, a month after that, [00:10:00] people are going to go, “Well, we tried that huge project and we got killed.” So this whole strategic planning thing is all bullshit and we shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.
• Carmen: Or another thing I’ve seen is, you know, you get … everybody’s fired up, you’ve got everybody finally performing, kind of moving in alignment, it’s really exciting. It turns out you can run eight cross-functional projects at a time, and because you can do that you think, “Well, let’s run nine. Well, let’s run ten. Look at our people; they just keep stepping up. They keep stepping up,” and then you get, you know, a year down the road and you’re people are ready to actually kill you.
• Randy: Yeah. They’re burned out, they’re bitter, and it’s … and then what happens is they end up pointing an accusing finger at the process. “This all started with that strategic planning thing, by God. We should have never done this. This is the worst thing ever. We should never strategic plan again. We don’t use the strategic word here anymore.”
• Carmen: So you say that’s when phase 9 is really important, which is you’ve got to reinforce your formal and informal communication networks, praise, bonuses, coaching, development.
• Randy: Yeah. This is when, you know, you … again, using that fire metaphor … you have to just incrementally, incrementally build that fire one little step at a time, just a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, and you’re constantly bringing positive reinforcement into the process. You’re trying to figure out ways to make the communication easier. You’re going to see the overall communication levels going up significantly in the organization, and that means more stress in the organization. So balance.
• Carmen: Folks who know us know I have a background in education. I listen to that, you know, in the education world we call it scaffolding. You’ve got to have the scaffolding.
• Randy: Ah, yes, exactly. Brilliant. Build it … you know, you can’t just go straight to the top. That’s right. If it was a climbing metaphor, we’d be talking about putting pitons in the wall …
• Carmen: Yes. Yes.
• Randy: … so that you can hang your weight off of that because you will fall.
• Carmen: Right.
• Randy: Right. So we have to figure that out, and it’s …
• Carmen: All right, and then …
• Randy: … it’s a technical stage, but it’s when … frankly, this is a point where …
• Carmen: And not that many people do it well, either.
• Randy: No, that’s what I’m saying. This is where a little consultancy help could really go a long way for an organization.
• Carmen: Mhm. Mhm.
• Randy: Because there are very specific techniques you can employ that will make this [00:12:00] stage work.
• Carmen: And we have seen it work.
• Randy: We have, brilliantly.
• Carmen: Very well. All right, rounding the corner. This is the home stretch, to phase 10, and that is: be ready to start all over again.
• Randy: Phase 10, be ready to start all over. You know, you think … okay, so you’ve been doing this for almost a year. You’re feeling really good. You’ve got programs going. You’ve got a nice plan, and you’re like, “Oh, we’re just sailing now. We’re in just cruise mode,” …
• Carmen: Mhm.
• Randy: … and it’s not true. The big magic moment to look out for is when you’re fiscal year ends. As soon as your fiscal year ends and your new fiscal year begins, it’s like people’s minds get wiped. It’s like they were really smart on June 29th, and on June 30th they got stupid again because it’s …
• Carmen: And they all go on vacation.
• Randy: And they go on vacation. It’s the beginning of the fiscal year, the new budget is here, and so it’s like … it’s like they’re goldfish, like they’re reset their whole sensibility, and you know what? That means you actually have to start all over, and that means starting back with phase 1 and saying, “Oh, yeah. Hey, remember this is why we’re having these conversations,” and all of a sudden all of that fortified strength that you had is gone. You have to reassemble it every single year.
•  Now saying that, I will say that after an organization’s culture embraces that overall strategic conversation, then that changes. Then you end up with this beautiful ongoing communication process where, over time, you’ll actually see the volume of communication going down significantly in the organization.
•  I liken that to like an emergency rescue team where they’ve done so many rescues together that they don’t even talk anymore. They’re just like, boom, boom, boom, boom. They’re just getting it done because they’re a well-oiled machine. Well, that takes a huge amount of time and practice.
• Carmen: It does, but it’s a really powerful thing, and I’ll say, though, even then, don’t rest on your laurels, because we were at a company just recently, bit all-staff meeting they had, that they have annually, and they asked: how many people have been hired within the last year to stand, and it was an unbelievable number [00:14:00] of folks.
• Randy: Yeah, 25% of the people that work …
• Carmen: And you realize … and it’s because they’re growing so fast, it’s not because they have huge turnover … but oh, my gosh, so here you’ve got this whole new group of people who really weren’t there for the history, they weren’t there for the beginning, and so you do have to keep rebuilding that in and starting from the beginning.
• Randy: And there’s a lot of just general skepticism about these processes because, so often, maybe there’s a leadership change in the organization and the new sets of leaders don’t honor the conversation commitments that were made in a process, and when that kind of betrayal occurs, oh boy, can that be just completely damaging to an organization where people just go, “See? I told you this is what would happen,” you know, so when you finally get this magical strategic conversation in place, you can change the world, you can do the impossible, and we have plenty of examples. Maybe on another podcast we’ll actually talk about specific examples.
•  It’s magic, but like magic it’s fragile. And so, to those executives who are actually out there championing this inclusive strategic planning process, God love you because it is a thankless job that you have to repeat again and again, but I will tell you it’s the only way, in my opinion, you’re going to build a truly 21st-century-ready organization. You’ve got to do this.
• Carmen: Absolutely. It’s the new strategic planning.
• Randy: it is. It is. No more just go to the retreat and put paper on the wall.
• Carmen: And it’s such hard work it’s never boring.
• Randy: It’s never boring, and you’re never done. Um, so I hope that was helpful for you.
• Carmen: Yes, and please go check out the blog if you’d like to learn more, or …
• Randy: areyouevolutionary.com.
• Carmen: … find those ten steps.
• Randy: Yeah, you can check out the ten steps and anything else, by all means, give us a buzz at areyouevolutionary website, and we will look for you next time on our fabulous podcast, [00:16:00] the Evolutionary podcast. Be great. Be brilliant. Change the world.
•  Talk to you soon.

The post Strategic Planning: Boring Time Suck! appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

So how does The Heathman Hotel get national attention? By telling stories. The secret power of stories is that people like to retell them. And when that happens, you exponentially increase your marketing reach. From making sure that the inevitable connection to the racy Fifty Shades of Grey books that mention its famous headboard design best reflected The Heathman brand and history, to telling the story of how fresh coffee beans from a local company are delivered and then ground in the hotel’s basement each morning, The Heathman demonstrates that the “everyday” can be special.

Telling your story is one thing, but what really impressed me about General Manager Chris Erickson was his ability to generate new stories to tell. My favorite example is how he took his love of running and connected it to his work at the hotel. Chris runs every week, and so it just made sense for him to create a “Run with the GM” day where he maps out weekly runs to visit tourist attractions in the city. One week might be great happy hour bars, another week great street art or best coffee houses. Even on weeks that no one chooses to run with Chris, he has a story to tell based on his route and the adventures along the way. I can tell you that I will never run with Chris (running is not my thing), but I will tell people his story!

We Talk Ourselves Out of Telling Our Stories.

Chris is unique – not because he has made the connection between his job and his love for running – but because he is willing to talk about it. Most organizational leaders don’t tell stories of the personal variety. We talk ourselves out of telling our stories because we think they are too small. Who really cares, right? So while we work with our marketing departments to craft the story that we deem “big” enough to tell, hundreds of smaller opportunities are missed.

Worse, many organizational leaders actually discourage storytelling by employees. Unless your story has been thoroughly vetted through the advertising agency, cleared by the in-house attorney, and screened for appropriate representation of diversity by human resources, it’s something best kept, well, to yourself.

I have a friend who is the lead of business lending for a financial institution. He told me this story – but I have to change all the names and references because it’s hush hush. He’s not allowed to share it. My friend, let’s call him Marty, gets a call from a customer who has something to show him. He takes Marty out to his car and shows him his new invention – a prototype he carries in his trunk of a device that shall remain top secret. Then he shows Marty his “business plan” – handwritten on one sheet of binder paper. Marty knows this poor guy would be laughed out of any of the business lending competitors shops in town. But Marty knows this customer well, knows his wife has a good job and that he is a good guy. So, Marty takes a chance on him. He gives him the loan to start his business. One year later the top secret invention is snapped up by several national companies. Let’s just say his account has significantly more money in it today. Marty’s story is great. Hearing it would make me want to use his business for all my future financial needs. But, according to the marketing department, sharing Marty’s story might make it seem like the company favors some customers over others. So no dice. If we can’t tell everyone’s story, then we can’t tell anyone’s story. Makes sense to me…

Let Your Employees Tell Your Stories.

While many leaders talk themselves out of telling stories they see as too small, too insignificant, or trivial, this barrier is nothing compared to the abject terror organizational executives experience at the mere thought of employees being unleashed to share stories. But the world is changing dramatically. The rise of social media has altered the marketing game forever. And by silencing the voices of all of your employees, you are missing a HUGE opportunity to magnify your organization’s stories – reaching more people, increasing influence and credibility – through the voices of your trusted “tribe”.

If you’re ready to make this Evolutionary marketing leap and reap the rewards of sharing your stories more widely check out the latest post by organizational communication expert, Margaret Murray, on 5 Steps to Harness the Social Media Impact of Your Employees. No excuses. Start telling your stories today!

The post Tell Your Story. My Tour of The Heathman Hotel appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

Podcast Transcript

• Carmen: Welcome to Evolutionaries podcast. I’m Carmen Voilliqué.
• Randy: I’m Randy Harrington.
• Carmen: And it’s the BASTA.
• Randy: BASTA. Yay!
• Carmen: Yay!
• Randy: Love it. Not really.
• Carmen: You know, people do love it. We’re getting a lot of feedback. I think people love to hate things.
• Randy: Well, I think everybody does share the experience of just being sick of it, just sick of it, and just want to stop, and there’s no better word than BASTA to say, “I am not fine with it” [00:00:28].
• Carmen: Yes. For those of you who have not heard …
• Randy: Just done with it.
• Carmen: … our basta edition. Basta is an Italian word …
• Randy: Italiano.
• Carmen: … that means: enough already.
• Randy: Enough already.
• Carmen: Enough already.
• Randy: And, boy, there are some things to basta out there.
• Carmen: We never run out of things to basta. I’ll tell you, I’ve got one. Lately it’s just … this just happened to me yesterday.
• Randy: Okay.
• Carmen: I have been on the road for a week and a half.
• Randy: Yes, me, too.
• Carmen: And we always joke about being out eating chicken dinners. There’s a lot of chicken out there in America, and my new pet peeve … this week … is pounded chicken. Every fancy restaurant, banquet hall, conference place … they pound the chicken as flat as a little pancake, and then you put a bunch of crap in there, whether it be ham or cream or bacon or spinach or …
• Randy: Something.
• Carmen: … bleu cheese … I don’t know what it is … roll it up …
• Randy: Turn it into a little chicken doobie.
• Carmen: Bread it, deep fry it, put it on a plate with some really heavy sauce, and call it gourmet.
• Randy: And call it gourmet, call it good.
• Carmen: There’s your fancy [crosstalk 00:01:37].
• Randy: I’ve got to tell you the thing that …
• Carmen: Pounded chicken.
• Randy: … that’s insidious about the pounded chicken is: the first bite is usually pretty good, but if you get through even …
• Carmen: It’s all salty and buttery and creamy …
• Randy: … a third of it you are doomed. Yeah.
• Carmen: Oh, and it just sits like this huge weight in your stomach, you know.
• Randy: Yeah, yeah.
• Carmen: And you go, “Why did I do that,” and if you do that, it turns out, lunch and dinner several days [00:02:00] in a row, you will not feel well.
• Randy: You will not feel well at all. Yeah. It’s a bad thing.
• Carmen: So basta on pounded chicken.\
• Randy: Basta on the pounded chicken. I love it.
•  You know, I have been on the road, and my big thing has been trying to be hydrated. You’re on airplanes all the time, and you’re flying around …
• Carmen: Yeah.
• Randy: … and so I have been very good, and I noticed …
• Carmen: You are good.
• Randy: … that when I drink more water, I feel better, and so I am in this business of sucking down the water.
• Carmen: Okay.
• Randy: Now, I know you have some issues here.
• Carmen: Now, when I drink more water I notice that I pee more.
• Randy: Yeah, well, there’s that.
• Carmen: And it’s not working for me.
• Randy: Is that right?
• Carmen: Oh, you know … well, we stand up in front of crowds. We’re not … our schedule is not our own.
• Randy: No, that’s true.
• Carmen: We’re on planes and all these other things. I can’t be peeing all the time like that.
• Randy: You can’t be peeing all the time. Aah.
• Carmen: Here’s the deal. I think this whole eight glasses of water a day thing … I think it’s hokum. I don’t think it’s true at all.
• Randy: Really.
• Carmen: I think it’s the water industry’s behind it. Now don’t quote me on this or anything. I have no …
• Randy: It’s a water conspiracy.
• Carmen: … but I’m just pretty sure, though, that there’s some kind of water industry conspiracy around this eight glasses.
•  I went and I asked me doctor last year. I finally said, “Look. I can’t drink eight glasses of water every day. I cannot do that,” and she said, “You don’t have to.”
• Randy: That was it? You don’t …
• Carmen: I was like, “Are you kidding me? Right now you’re kidding me. I don’t have … ” but it’s always in your face. Drink, drink, drink. Water, water, water, water.
• Randy: Now William, our famous sound engineer, told us that he drinks three 32-ounce units of water per day.
• Carmen: And he has been sitting in this room with us already for an hour and a half …
• Randy: And there has been no urination.
• Carmen: … and he hasn’t had to go to the bathroom. No urination.
• Randy: Now he could be using what David Sedaris called a “stadium pal.” Yeah.
• Carmen: As all audio engineers do.
• Randy: Strapped to his leg. I’ll leave that for your imaginations.
• Carmen: All right. All right.
• Randy: No, I understand that.
• Carmen: I think everybody might be different.
• Randy: Everybody … okay, I’ll give you the, “Everybody’s different.” So you’re going to basta on eight glasses a day.
• Carmen: Basta on eight [00:04:00] glasses a day.
• Randy: I’m going to tell you what I’m going to basta about the water. I’m in the airport buying the bottle of water because, of course, you can’t bring it in through the TSA, which is the other thing that I’ve probably basta’ed five times before, but …
• Carmen: But one more for good measure.
• Randy: … but one more. So I’m paying $2.99 for my bottle of water …
• Carmen: Yes, your new bottle.
• Randy: … and this woman is standing behind me and she taps on the shoulder and she says, “Do you know what kind of bottle that is? Do you know if that bottle’s okay?” And I was like …
• Carmen: Is that the right kind of plastic?
• Randy: Is that the right kind of plastic, because of what the BPAs or the … some … you know, the leakage or the seepage of the … something. And I was just like, “Oh, please.”
• Carmen: Causes cancer, just like everything else causes cancer.
• Randy: I just can’t deal with it. I was like … I’ve just … I’m trying to do one good thing for myself, and here you are bringing me down with the whole chemical thing. A basta on plastic bottles …
• Carmen: Plastic bottles.
• Randy: … and people who point out stuff like that. I didn’t need that.
• Carmen: Oh, and the people to.
• Randy: Yeah, the whole scene upset me.
• Carmen: She was just trying to save you.
• Randy: I know. Well, I don’t know what she was trying to do, but it was definitely upsetting. I didn’t care for it at all.
• Carmen: Speaking of upsetting people …
• Randy: Oh, yes.
• Carmen: I’ve got to tell you.
• Randy: Give me the basta. I know where you’re going with this one.
• Carmen: You know, so we were at a big thing … and I won’t say what the thing was … a big thing, lots and lots of people there talking about stuff, and, you know, gathering ideas and …
•  This individual came up and said, “Well, how do you get this other group of people into the conversation? I noticed you left them out. How did you choose who that you invited in?” and blah, blah, blah, and it was just …
• Randy: Really snarky, I thought.
• Carmen: Real snarky, and it was just … you know, but we were very nice. We were like, “Well, we should have done that. We will do that. We’ll look into that.”
• Randy: “Hey, thanks for that idea. Great.”
• Carmen: “Thank you so much. It’s such a good idea,” and really, you know, deep down you’re kind of are thinking, “Well, we probably ought to do that,” you know. Well then, two hours later, in another session …
• Randy: Forum. In a more formal forum, she stands up again …
• Carmen: First one to stand up …
• Randy: “What about this? What about that?”
• Carmen: And she says the same thing, now in front of everybody, chastises us yet again.
• Randy: Yeah, it’s like please.
• Carmen: It’s like, “Okay, wait a minute. This isn’t about you sharing that [00:06:00] idea. This is about you being in the spotlight.”
• Randy: Yeah, it really is, and I’ll tell you, we work with a lot of groups, and I’m going to give a basta to those one … usually it’s one person. Basta on the person who feels like a group forum, where you’re trying to make group decisions, is just your chance to rant about your own particular point of view. Drives me up a wall. Takes the whole group offline sometimes. Creates dissention where it doesn’t need to be. It’s like: this is the 21st century. You should be able to function in a group conversation. If not, take yourself out of it.
• Carmen: And here’s the thing: we’re not saying everybody has to get along and everybody has to agree and blah, blah, blah.
• Randy: And we’re not saying you shouldn’t give your opinion.
• Carmen: But the people who hide behind, “I’m going to be devil’s advocate right now,” and they’re really just using that as a forum for, “I’m going to talk about my stuff, and me, me, me, and what I care about, and derail everything.”
• Randy: So basta on the individual nay-sayer who just kind of brings down the whole meeting. I’m just …
• Carmen: Stop doing that.
• Randy: I’m doing with … I mean, yeah, what do you think you’re actually doing? It drive me up a wall.
• Carmen: All right. Enough of that.
• Randy: So this morning … we had been on the road. This morning I get back, and what do I have … first thing on my calendar … a meeting with the healthcare insurance broker person woman who is telling me about …
• Carmen: Very nice lady, by the way.
• Randy: … she turned out to be awesome, but I was really dreading it because of all the Affordable Care Act stuff, and I got in … healthcare is going up, up, up, and … you know, like 20-30% year over year, and we provide extremely good health benefits to our employees; and I’m finding out that it’s costing a gazillion dollars.
• Carmen: Yes, that you’re actually going to be homeless [crosstalk 00:07:41].
• Randy: Exactly. That’s exactly right. And the thing that drove me up a wall was: they would give me like, “Okay, here’s the deluxe plan del grande, and it’s got this and that and this and that, and your payable is this, and your up … you know, maximum … your Rx, and all these kind of things, and so then I’d repeat it [00:08:00] back to her.
• Carmen: Okay, let me get this straight.
• Randy: Okay, so what you’re saying is, “Blah, blah, blah,” and they she would say, “Yes, as  long as your 100, 100, and you’re bundled.” And I was like, “Oh, what does that mean?” I mean, please. You know …
• Carmen: Two hours later.
• Randy: Two hours later we’re having this conversation, and I still don’t really understand it.
• Carmen: You don’t know what you decided.
• Randy: I don’t know what I decided.
• Carmen: Healthcare.
• Randy: Yeah, we’re just going to start bleeding …
• Carmen: Healthcare in America.
• Randy: … bleeding our people. “Oh, you have a cold here. Let me bleed you. I’m going to put leeches on your forehead because that’s the way we roll.”
• Carmen: Basta on healthcare.
• Randy: Basta on the … yeah. It’s like … you know, we’re trying to do the right thing, but I just … it’s just not happening in any way that’s meaningful to me. And I’m willing to pay for it. It drove me up a wall.
• Carmen: So I have been in a lot of meetings lately, and I’ve led a lot of meetings lately, in a lot of different venues, and I would say, in the last two years, maybe one in ten times a projector works the right way.
• Randy: Ah!
• Carmen: Or more often than not, you say, “I’ve absolutely got to have a projector for this meeting,” and you get there at Hotel X or whatever it is, and there just isn’t one.
• Randy: Yeah. Yeah.
• Carmen: You know? It’s like … remember the 14 emails we sent you about how we needed a projector in here?
• Randy: Yeah.
• Carmen: And you are actually charging us for it and there’s no projector?” “Oh, yeah. We’ll get right on that.”
•  Why don’t projectors work with different laptops?
• Randy: I know. It’s an issue.
• Carmen: I just … so I don’t know if anybody else out there is having a lot of problems with projectors, but I just think projectors are a problem.
• Randy: I … well, yeah, it’s … and I will tell you how bad that is because … I’m going to ruin your day … I actually had a great projector experience. I was working in Tampa, Florida, last week. They had this big, ginormous projector in there, and the AV guy is saying, “Well, here’s your projector and here’s what you do,” and I was like, you know, “Yeah. I’ve run a projector before. I get it,” and he goes, “No, this one’s really cool. Check it out.”
•  On the remote that [00:10:00] he hands me … I’m projecting my PowerPoint slides up on the screen, and there’s a button on the remote that says, “freeze.” I can press that button that says, “freeze;” it’ll keep the image that’s up on the screen, but now my laptop is free, so if I want to see what the next slide is or if I want to change a slide or if I want to add something, you don’t have to go put a book up in front of the thing.
• Carmen: Imagine that.
• Randy: It’ll just hold that image, and then you just press “freeze” again and now you’re back being live again.
• Carmen: Yeah, well, good for you.
• Randy: I had a …
• Carmen: So on Friday I used a projector that was …
• Randy: Aah, ooh …
• Carmen: It was yellow.
• Randy: Oooh, yeah.
• Carmen: The whole screen was … we’ve been talking a lot about urination, and so I’m telling you, it was urine …
• Randy: Looked urine …
• Carmen: … yellow.
• Randy: This is the …
• Carmen: And so then we …
• Randy: Basta, the urine edition.
• Carmen: The urine edition. I’m telling you, it was yellow …
• Randy: Yeah, and that’ll upset anybody. It’s hard to be thinking about business when you’re looking at a urine screen.
• Carmen: When everything’s yellow.
• Randy: Yeah, I know. That’s a big problem.
• Carmen: Well, anyway, good for you.
• Randy: Basta on bad projectors.
•  Now here’s an issue for you. And this is a complex basta. This is like a three-step basta. I’m, you know, struggling, trying to get fit and whatnot, and so it’s an issue for me. I’m noticing it. And I’ve been meeting these people that I’ve known for years, and they come up to me, “Hi, Randy. Hi,” and I look at them and they look awesome.
• Carmen: Ah, and they’re all skinny and beautiful.
• Randy: They’re skinny. They’ve done their hair different.
• Carmen: Fit and healthy.
• Randy: They’re fit. Their teeth are all sparkly white and everything, and I’m like, “Whoa! What did you do, man? What’s your program? How did you, you know, transform yourself?” and they go, “Oh, yeah,” and then they kind of roll their eyes a little bit like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha,” and then we talk for another eight seconds and I find out, “I’ve just gone through a divorce.”
• Carmen: Aaah.
• Randy: Four people like in the last week I’ve talked to that are skinny …
• Carmen: And gorgeous and divorced.
• Randy: … and gorgeous and divorced. Have had a recent divorce. And so it’s like, “Really?”
• Carmen: Basta! Basta on people …
• Randy: Is that what it takes? Is that what you have to do to get fit in America? So …
• Carmen: Get a divorce?
• Randy: Yeah. So I came home and I told my wife, [00:12:00] I said, “This is it, Dear.”
• Carmen: Here’s the solution.
• Randy: Here’s the solution. It’s just going to be a faux divorce.
• Carmen: It’s a last-resort thing, but this is what we’re going to have to do.
• Randy: We’re going to have to just pretend the our … we’re going to have to fool our bodies into thinking … you know, but we’ll still … anyway, it’s ridiculous. But basta on these people who, all of a sudden, just get totally fit. But I think it … I don’t know. It says a lot about marriage, maybe, and it says a lot about …
• Carmen: But that’s another podcast.
• Randy: That’s a … whoa …
• Carmen: All right. Basta on skinny divorced people.
• Randy: On skinny divorced people, yes. Basta on them.
• Carmen: Okay. Well, this is an excellent edition of … I don’t know where this is going next.
• Randy: Oh, my gosh.
• Carmen: Um.
• Randy: Um. Well, yeah, I do know where this is going next. This is our …
• Carmen: Yeah, we’ve both had this experience in the last day.
• Randy: And I bet you dollars to donuts that everybody who’s listening to this podcast had this experience, and you will share this basta. Today is … I don’t know what day of the month it is, but it was the day … this is the day after the bombs blew up at the …
• Carmen: Boston marathon.
• Randy: … Boston marathon, killing now three people at this count and injuring close to 200 in serious ways, just a horrible …
• Carmen: Terrible tragedy.
• Randy: … screwed-up story. And so we both had the occasion to be on the road while this news was breaking, and we’re both NPR fans, we’re listening to NPR. I love NRP. This is not a dis on NPR per se.
• Carmen: No, everybody … anybody who listens knows we love NPR.
• Randy: But we’re driving down the road, I’m listening to NPR, and they’ve got nothing to say. They don’t know anything.
• Carmen: Nobody knows anything right now.
• Randy: Nobody knows … we don’t have any forensics. We don’t have any data. There’s nothing going on. But they’re talking about it for an hour, and it’s like … if … so  my basta is on news with no news. They’re occupying the whole hour, or the majority of it, saying, “We still have no information.” Well, that’s not news.
• Carmen: “But let’s talk to somebody who runs the Beta Breakers in San Francisco. So what are you guys thinking about future … “
• Randy: “What are you thinking? Do you think you might have a bomb at yours? I know. [00:14:00] I know.”
• Carmen: “… marathons and that kind of thing.” Yeah, you know, it’s like …
• Randy: Every yahoo’s opinion about everything, you know.
• Carmen: Yeah, yeah. Basta on news with no news.
• Randy: Basta on the news with no  news. Just makes me crazy because, I mean, all it did was really upset me. I kept turning on and off the radio. I was like, “Ah, ah, I get that. Ah, ah, I can’t listen to that anymore,” and then I turned it back on because I was …
• Carmen: Because there might be some news.
• Randy: Because there might be some news and I’d be upset. It’s just terrible.
• Carmen: Okay. Well, you know what else is terrible? Senseless violence. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of all of this …
• Randy: What … yeah, people running around, “Oh, I’ve got to go shoot people.”
• Carmen: … hate and …
• Randy: “Oh, I’ve got to go whack people with a knife.”
• Carmen: I’m just tired of it. Basta …
• Randy: Basta, basta …
• Carmen: Basta on violence in America.
• Randy: What is … I mean, I just don’t get it. And you know, I am like mister pacifist guy, and I’m like mister peaceful, and I don’t believe in capital punishment; but I have to tell you that these feelings, you know, run through my body like an electric current. When I see that I was like, “I hope they find that <squishing sound> and  <squishing sound>, you know, just …
• Carmen: Well, as everybody knows who does listen to our podcasts …
• Randy: Whack that.
• Carmen: … Randy and I have been reading a lot of Jack Reacher books.
• Randy: Yeah, that’s right. We’re going to …
• Carmen: Yes, we’ve been on airplanes …
• Randy: I want to go all Jack Reacher on their ass.
• Carmen: And so we’re like, “Well, Jack Reacher wouldn’t put up with this crap.”
• Randy: I know. I’m going to just friggin’ take them right out. So it’s a terrible cycle of thought that you get into in these things …
• Carmen: You do. You do.
• Randy: … because it’s just … there’s nothing good that comes from it.
• Carmen: There’s nothing good, so basta.
• Randy: If you’re listening to our podcast and you’re plotting some kind of evil deed …
• Carmen: Knock it off.
• Randy: Just frickin’ stop. Just put it down. Go have a sandwich. Do something, but get a life for heaven’s sakes. Man, of man. Drives me  nuts. All right, well …
• Carmen: All right, folks, well, we’ve got more …
• Randy: I’m exhausted.
• Carmen: … but we’ll save it for our next edition.
• Randy: You know, I’ve got to say, this basta …
• Carmen: I thought we were almost done.
• Randy: … this one is not as satisfying to me. Now I’m worked up.
• Carmen: I can see that.
• Randy: You know what I’m saying. Most bastas I feel like, “Okay, I’ve purged it out of my soul, but now I’m just all upset.
• Carmen: All right. Well, on that happy note, please join us  [00:16:00] next time.
• Randy: So, yeah. I’m going to make an appeal. If you’re hearing this and you can help me figure out the senseless violence thing, or any of the basta that you’ve heard today … the water thing … we would love to hear from you, and you can contact us at areyouevolutionary.com.
• Carmen: Yes, and if we have managed to totally depress you, go to areyouevolutionary.com, look at podcasts, and you can listen to our other podcast, “Happiness in a box.”
• Randy: Happiness in a box.
• Carmen: It’ll cheer you right up. We promise.
• Randy: Yeah, absolutely.
• Carmen: All right. Take care, everybody.
• Randy: All right. We love you. Take care.

The post Basta! May Edition appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

The good news is that you can stop with the cycling and recycling—the NOAA officials revised their May 9^th measurement back down to 399.89.

Whew! And to think we were that close to irrevocable climate change.

If you read beyond the headlines, however, those doleful scientists can still find a way to ruin a perfectly good coal-fired-global-consumption-binge. It turns out that the number (400 PPM) is an interesting milestone, but the real poo-in-the-punchbowl is in the trend of the data; the so-called Keeling Curve. In 1958 Charles Keeling started measuring C02 in Hawaii. For tens of thousands of years we believe the planet hovered around 300 PPM CO2. Now we are close to 400. We have not seen levels this high for 3 million or so years (think primordial steaming sulfur swamps).  And what’s worse still—the rate of the increase, the steepness of the curve, is going up. Charles Keeling had a son named Ralph. Ralph is a climatologist with the Scripps Institute and he has taken over the work of his father. Ralph thinks that “We could hit 450 in a few decades.”

Hope? Solutions? Science?

On May 10, 2013 I attended an Environmental Conference in Portland, Oregon. The conference panel included David Suzuki—the TV host of “The nature of Things”; Andrea Durbin the Executive Director of the Oregon Environmental Alliance; Governor John Kitzhaber; and the 14^th Dalai Lama. (It was an awesome discussion!)

You can imagine that the 400 PPM threshold was top of mind for this panel.  The Dalai Lama made the point that the world’s population continues to grow with a population of ten billion looming not too far away. David Suzuki and Andrea Durbin called out the need for more global responses to the crisis: “You would think we could come together around issues as fundamental as being able to breathe air or drink water.”

Then John Kitzhaber—Oregon’s very cool MD turned politician who is almost always seen in jeans and cowboy boots—said something remarkable. (The following quote is a summary from blogger Treothe Bullock): “He pointed out that the metrics of our economy are driving the current problems and that what we need to develop, in the next few years, is a new set of metrics for our economy. He implied we need metrics that include debits for the externalizations of ecological degradation and credits for responsible and sustainable innovations. We need metrics that show debits for generating class inequities and injustices and credits for development that lifts the most vulnerable up.”

Kitzhaber made the point that our current measures, GDP and the like, actually get a boost from wars, environmental catastrophes, and the building of prisons. He was making the argument that the only way to solve this problem is to rethink the measures we are tracking to measure “success.”

This is not a new thought in business. We are all about having the right Key Performance Indicators (KPI’s). It’s like we need a “net promoter” measure for our environment. The Net Promoter concept is all the rage in service industries. It measures customer satisfaction by asking if you are likely to recommend or refer the service to others. If the answer is “Yes!”—you get points. Anything else and you lose points. You are seen as neutral or a detractor.  Kitzhaber went on to quote Thomas Pynchon from Gravity’s Rainbow, “If you keep asking the wrong questions, you don’t need to pay attention to the answers.”

We need to be asking different questions.  We need to be very attentive to the answers. We need to allow our KPI’s to consider degradation in key areas and interdependence—without getting too hung up on causality. We need a structural equation model that will allow us to consider the relative effects of apparently unrelated variables like: water quality, reforestation, birth rates, crime rates, mental health trends, education levels, income, poverty levels, health care, coral reef health, salmon runs, soil erosion, ice cap levels, alcoholism, voting behavior, disease and epidemiology, urban growth, electric cars, and happiness levels.

Yes it would be complicated, but no more complicated than running a Wal-Mart or assembling a china-hutch from Ikea. Even if it is a crude metric, the trends could be very informative.

The big thing that is different now is that we are so far down the rabbit hole of climate change that individual efforts are less likely to make a difference. You know those signs in the hotel bathroom asking you to save the environment by reusing your bath towel? Yeah, that won’t cut it I’m afraid. David Suzuki suggests that this is now a problem of politics, nation states, and global interdependence. The Dalai Lama believes that the best bet is to concentrate on the kids—educating them more fully and unfolding a new vision of what the world can be.

As for me, I am with Governor Kitzhaber on this one: we need a new way of keeping score. It is not just about “having health insurance” it is about living a more healthy life. It is not about “consumer spending” it is about building communities. It is not just about growing crops, it is about not killing bees.

I also agree that there is no way to mount any solutions of substance without a leadership approach that invites science and collaboration. The demonization of science has become chic over the past 15 years or so, and we are paying a heavy price. We continue to wring the last vestiges of innovation out of our 1960’s heavy-science focus—sparked by Sputnik—and we continue to defund and shutter scientific research programs and scientific education programs.

The future for American science is so dark, we gotta wear night-vision-goggles (ironically a technology developed in the 60’s…)

So let’s sum this up:

• 400 PPM is a critical milestone—but like most data of import, it’s not the number but the trend that should freak us out.
• The Keeling Curve trend is bad.  There are going to be big problems ahead.
• These problems can’t be solved by any single business, country, or consortium. We need to be cooperating at amazing new levels, and that just doesn’t seem to be in the cards.
• We need a new way to “keep score” that includes “debits” for actions that damage health, environment, and culture.
• We should hope to see a new generation of people who are less concerned with consumption and acquisition and more concerned with quality of life and community development.
• We need leaders who can accomplish the balance Kitzhaber described where positive steps don’t have to happen at the cost of alienating whole groups of people. Progress can’t be a zero-sum game:  I win—you lose.

It is a sunny day here in Oregon—and it’s May. Usually it is still cool and rainy. Very strange… Driest and hottest spring yet on record. Nah, it’s probably nothing…

The post 400 PPM: It’s Not the Number, It’s the Trend appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

 Podcast Transcript

Carmen: Welcome to Evolutionaries podcast. I’m Carmen Voillequé.

Randy: I’m Randy Harrington, and today we are talking with Caryn Gillen, and she is on the phone with us. Hello, Caryn, how are you?

Caryn: I’m doing great. How are you guys?

Randy: Yes, you are doing great, and you’re a great person. Congratulations.

Caryn: Thank you. I win.

Randy: Absolutely. I met Caryn. I was doing … I can’t remember what I was doing … I was doing, I think a speech maybe …

Caryn: Yes.

Randy: … for … was it the Oregon Restaurant Lodging Association meeting? Was that what it was?

Caryn: Mhm. Yeah.

Randy: Look at you. You know everything. And for some reason, we just kind of had this psychic connection, frankly because she was like the one person in the room who was really paying attention.

Carmen: Yeah, she was way awake.

Randy: She was awake. But she was just kind of really leaning into the whole thing and really trying to understand things, and we started chatting, and it was very clear to me that …

Carmen: I thought you were going to say, “Because she sold beer and wine.”

Randy: Well, there was that. There was that. No.

But you are a number of things: you’re a Renaissance woman … dare we say? You’re an author, you’re a coach, a life coach kind of a person, and you are a fabulous restaurateur.

Caryn: Yeah.

Randy: Am I missing anything?

Caryn: I’m also a commercial fisherman.

Randy: No.

Carmen: I am interested.

Randy: Tell me more about that. You go on boats and catch …

Caryn: That’s how I got through college.

Randy: Really.

Caryn: Yeah, and I’m headed up to Bristol Bay to fish for sockeye salmon for that salmon run this summer. It’s sort of a bucket list fishery, so I’m starting to get a little nervous and a lot excited about it.

Randy: So you’re like out there on boats and …

Caryn: Mhm. Yeah.

Randy: Is this like “The Most Dangerous Catch” kind of thing?

Caryn: No, it’s not quite that crazy, but yeah, it has … in the past it’s been a pretty wild fishery, getting your windows shot out and stuff like that, but it’s a little more tame these days.

Randy: Wow! Okay, so you see what I mean when I say …

Carmen: Okay, that’s another podcast right there.

Randy: Renaissance woman. Yeah, when [00:02:00] you get back from that trip …

Caryn: We’ll do that when I get back, yeah.

Randy: We’ve got to hear about that. The first thing I want to talk to you about, though, is: I was really struck when I met you about your book, and I have to say, I think it’s wonderful and I’ve never really thought about it. Tell us about your book.

Caryn: The book starts when I was getting my master’s in counseling psychology, and I had my internship, and the idea of eating disorders really freaked me out, and to have a client like that, that just seemed really scary.

And I was working with a registered dietitian who said, “Well, here’s what I do,” and I got the book, Intuitive Reading, and read it, and just from that moment on until today, it’s like food just makes total sense to me. I get it. I don’t have to worry about a diet, anything, whatever. And so, later on in this coaching practice, I wanted to specialize in a few things, and I found out I could train with the women who wrote that book; and so I did that and got certified, and I wanted to have something to offer people who were intuitive eating or interested in maybe knowing more about me and how I work with people, so I wrote that eBook as a way for them to kind of step in the door without having to go out and buy a book, get my understanding of it, get some steps to get started if they were interested in dabbling. It just sort of fell out of me one January, and I just keep giving it to people.

Randy: And the title of the book is?

Caryn: it’s A Bite-Size Guide to Intuitive Eating.

Randy: Bite-Sized Guide to Intuitive Eating. And if I wanted to get a copy of it, what would I need to do?

Caryn: You would go to caryngillen.comM, and on the right-hand side there is the cover of the book you’ll see. You can enter an email address which signs you up for my newsletter, and you’ll get the link for the free PDF.

Randy: Pretty dang cool. All right, so in a nutshell … I’m going to tell you, both Carmen and I are very interested in this concept of intuitive eating. I was really struck by the fact that you said, “I get food, blah, blah, blah. [00:04:00] I don’t ever have to be on a diet.”

Carmen: Yeah.

Randy: My life, my whole life …

Carmen: That’s like the opposite.

Randy: … has been this, you know, like a knife fight with food. It’s been me versus the food or the food versus me, so you sort of … most people say, “You had me at ‘hello,’” You lost me at the point where you said, “Oh, yeah, I get food.” You know. It’s like …

Caryn: I know, yeah.

Randy: That seems inconceivable to me. So tell me: what in the world is intuitive eating all about?

Caryn: Intuitive eating is basically going back to when you were a toddler. Most of us don’t remember that time, but luckily there’s lots of toddlers in the world that we can watch and learn from. But if you watch a little kid eat, you know, if they’re playing and they’re having a good time, they’re like, “I’m … you know … screw the sandwich. I don’t want lunch right now,” because they’re not hungry, or whatever they’re doing is really more interesting than food; but the moment that they know they need the fuel, they’re hungry. They’re going to go get it. They know how to find the food; they just ask Mom for it. It’s not because it’s noon or dinnertime or because there’s something good on the table. It’s like, “Hey, my body says I need some fuel. I’m going to do that right now.”

Randy: Wow.

Carmen: I was thinking … except for my daughter. She just got meaner. She gets aggressively meaner. It’s like, “What’s wrong with you? Have a cracker.”

Caryn: My husband carries snacks around, too, for me.

Randy: I love it. So the basic idea, then, is that we’ve been socialized into screwed-up eating. Is that a fair way to say it?

Caryn: Yes. Yes. That’s …

Randy: You know, oh, I have to get up and have 600 calories at breakfast and away we go.

Caryn: Yeah, well, and from the parenting standpoint, we’ve been socialized to think we’re bad parents if our kids aren’t eating well. So you kid could eat carrots every day for a week and then cupcakes every day for a week, and then enchiladas every day for a week; and somehow they’re making it work, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Carmen: That’s … the way you just ended, “And there’s nothing wrong with that.” I think that’s the hurdle, isn’t it? [00:06:00] So everybody was listening? They’re following along and thinking, “Yep, yep, yep, and that’s such a big problem,” and for you to say there’s nothing wrong with that, I think, is … it’s a tough pill for society to swallow.

Caryn: Yes. I was thinking about the RDA where people switch that in their mind to registered … or whatever it is … they think of daily allowance, but it’s actually a dietary allowance and it’s over a three-day period, so nobody said we have to get all of our calcium every single day, but over a three-day period are you doing pretty well and hitting all the major food groups? And so like to give, you know, with kids and even grownups … I like to think, “How am I doing over the course of the week?”

Randy: So the idea, then, is that I should just be letting my body tell me what to do?

Caryn: Yeah. The place where the work is, too, is the getting back into relationship with your body. So I think a lot of the work that I do with clients on intuitive eating is gaining a sense of, like, intimacy with themselves because we really … you know, if you’ve ever been successful on a diet, you’ve been successful at not listening to your body.

Randy: Well, that’s interesting. So that’s good news for me because I haven’t been successful on a diet.

Caryn: That is good news for you.

Carmen: Score 1.

Randy: Yes! Finally! Okay, so I’m digging this a lot. I think this is helping me, but I don’t know how. So you do I get more intimate with my … this is going to be … sounds racy … how do I get more intimate with my body?

Caryn: Well, how do you get more intimate with anybody else?

Randy: [crosstalk 00:07:39]. I don’t know. I mean, you learn them. You get to know them.

Caryn: Yeah.

Randy: So there’s a knowledge component.

Caryn: Right.

Randy: There’s a caring component.

Caryn: So there’s … yeah, I mean it’s the same as kind of like having assumptions about someone that you meet or … you know. If I met you and I thought, “Oh, there’s that Randy guy. I think he’s really funny [00:08:00] and quite smart, but he can’t run very fast.” … I’m making an assumption; I have no idea how fast you fast you can run. You really have to take some time and get to know that person.

The same thing with your body. I have to take myself out to lunch and look at the menu and think, “I’m not saying I’ll have salad instead of fries because I’m trying to be ‘good,’ I’m saying, like, what really sounds good. What’s going to be the most satisfying thing for me right now?”

For me a big thing is: I love crunchy foods, so sometimes I order salads because I just want to crunch on them; and some days it get fries because fries are good, and there’s no emotional attachment to anything that goes into your body. It’s: does this … is this going to feel good? Okay. So maybe I tried fries and then an hour later I was totally lethargic and I’m probably not going to do that if I have an important meeting right afterwards, or whatever.

But you take the information that your body gives you. First you pay attention to it, and then you remember it.

Randy: Right. To you remember how you felt after you ate that monstrous burrito or whatever, you know.

Caryn: Right. And it’s a process, you know. I mean, we all know how we feel after we eat a monstrous burrito; but it’s just that it’s also a process of healing your relationship to food and to your body, because there are a lot of people who, for the majority of their lives, have had really negative self-talk about their own bodies or have had negative messages from their friends or their parents or their spouses; and it can be really kind of like breaking wide open this whole food thing, and it can be really emotional and it does change people’s lives.

Randy: Wow. So by having these conversations with people around intuitive eating, you … all of a sudden all kinds of other stuff probably emerges?

Caryn: Oh, yeah. My favorite intuitive eating client, we basically ended up getting to the point where she was back-writing children’s books.

Randy: So she had lost that capacity?

Caryn: Food is a window.

Randy: Food is a window? [00:10:00] I definitely have got to pick up the book, I’ve definitely got to read it, and I definitely have to start doing everything that you said.

Carmen: I agree. I second that. I’m already kind of off thing. But, you know, I have a question for you. As I’m listening to this I’m thinking, “And she’s in the restaurant business.”

Randy: Right.

Caryn: Uhu. Yes.

Carmen: And in some ways that makes all the sense in the world, and in other ways I’m thinking, but aren’t restaurants always just trying to give us too much food and the kind of food we shouldn’t have and, you know, so …

Randy: Yeah, you’re enabling our problems, by God.

Carmen: Yeah, aren’t you just causing the problem here.

Randy: In fact, yes, I think you … yeah, it’s almost like unethical that she’s in that business.

Carmen: Yeah, yeah, and so I’m wondering: what is your approach or your philosophy toward your business and how does that work?

Caryn: On the restaurant business, I think there’s probably only 2% of the food purveyors in the United States that I would actually be able to work for and work with.

Carmen: Wow.

Caryn: And the restaurant that I’m with right now, I’m there because their values are very clear. We get our food locally. It’s organic whenever it’s reasonable. We know where the meat was walking around not very long ago. We know who grows it, like we have relationships with the people who are bringing this stuff in, and the portions aren’t gigantic. We do make some pretty crazy menu items, and that’s just fun and that’s restaurants, and that’s why we go out; but I’m really there because that core set of food values is really clear throughout the business, and so I’m able to be there.

Randy: And for listeners in our Eugene market, you’re lucky because that’s where Caryn is, and the name of the business is Falling Sky … is it Falling Sky Brewery or … ?

Caryn: Falling Sky Brewing.

Randy: Falling Sky Brewing.

Caryn: And we’re on Oak Alley.

Randy: On Oak Alley. It’s a lovely spot, very informal, fun and relaxed; and then you look at the menu and it feels like you’re in some very hip, you know, elegant, super [00:12:00] trendy cool restaurant, so it’s like the best of all worlds. The beer is not to be missed, either … terrific home-brewed beer.

Give us some examples of some of the cool things on your menu, though, so that we understand what you’re talking about.

Caryn: Cool things on the menu … we do a lot of charcuterie items. We do house-cured meats, smoked meats, so like our pastrami is done in-house. We’re actually opening a second location, hopefully in July, and it’s going to be a Jewish deli. You’ll be able to come and …

Randy: Oh, congratulations.

Caryn: Yeah, thanks … come in and get our bacon and some deli salads and stuff to go, but also be able to stay and have sort of a different menu from the pub that we have right now. But there’s always a burger on the menu with grass-fed beef and locally-baked bread, and there’s no tomatoes because they’re not in season, but come in the summer and we’ll put on Heirloom on it for how.

Randy: Nice.

Caryn: So it’s kind of like different specials every single day. They just rotate all over the place, so … today we even had a house-made Spam sandwich for lunch.

Randy: I love it. I love it.

Caryn: Yeah.

Carmen: So help me connect the dots, then, between … so if I read Intuitive Eating and I get all hooked into it and I start to really get food, then what’s the healthy balanced approach to restaurants; because I think, you know, our lifestyle, Randy and I …

Randy: Yeah, we travel all the time.

Carmen: … we’re traveling all the time. It’s restaurants all the time. You don’t always get to choose which restaurant you’re going to, so how does one negotiate, I guess, restaurants and have this intuitive eating approach?

Caryn: One thing for people who travel a lot: I just remind them that servers are there to serve you, and ask for what you want. If you want something different off of the menu, you know they have all the ingredients, make them do it for you.

I’ve always been a big fan of getting what you want from a restaurant, because that’s why we go out; we want to get what we want to eat.

Randy: I need to hear that because I am the worst. I will go, “God this … okay, go ahead, I’ll have [00:14:00] another turkey sandwich,” even though it’s not what I want.

Caryn: Yeah.

Randy: Yeah.

Caryn: And this is the main reason, and this is great because I wanted to say this earlier, is I think the best diet tool that you use … and “diet” I just mean by food we put into our mouths, not a restrictive eating plan … is to think about what’s going to be the most satisfying, because if I really want chewy, great big chocolate chip cookie and milk and I tell myself I can’t have that or it’s not here right now, whatever, I’m going to end up eating some chips, a granola bar, maybe have a salad, try to drink some juice; like how many calories are you going to put into your body on your way to eventually eating that chocolate chip cookie anyway, instead of just doing the satisfying [crosstalk 00:14:48].

Carmen: You know the end of this story.

Caryn: Well, I’m all about …

Randy: I think we can put psychic on your resume, too.

Caryn: … do what you want. Yeah.

Randy: So I guess I can infer, too, that you’re not a big fan of what we would consider a diet in the sense of a restricted eating regimen?

Caryn: I could say I’m not a big fan for myself. I know that there’s a lot of people who are happy with them and love them and get excited about new ones. I’m also not judgmental about it. It’s just: this is works really well for me. I’ve seen it work great for other people, I’ve seen tons of toddlers eat like this and be very happy, and I like to just let people know that there’s a different way and that there’s a more peaceful and less restrictive and you-don’t-have-to-beat-yourself-up kind of way, and it’s slower. You know, I lost like 35 pounds back in graduate school, and I’ve stayed the same weight ever since. It’s right about the same time I read this book.

Randy: Hmm.

Carmen: Interesting.

Randy: Interesting. Oh, my gosh. You know, one of the things …

Carmen: I’m ordering that right now.

Randy: Well, right. You know, I’ve got to tell you, Carmen, one of the things I’m experiencing just in this conversation with you is calmness.

Carmen: Mhm.

Randy: I love the way that you [00:16:00] speak. I love the way you answer questions. You don’t have a lot of filler words, you just say what you think and you say it very plainly and elegantly and simply, and I think that’s kind of the approach that you’re talking about with respect to the relationship you have with your own body and your relationship with food. Is that a fair statement?

Caryn: Yeah. It’s calm. There’s no ups or downs.

Carmen: Well, Caryn, I have …

Caryn: I’m not overly frilly.

Carmen: I love you, Caryn.

Randy: I know.

Carmen: I just think you’re fabulous, you know, and there’s such this calmness. I also … I kind of equate it with wisdom. It’s like you have an inner wisdom.

Randy: Yeah, yeah, it’s … yeah.

Carmen: And since you are so wise, I’m going to take it up a notch here.

Randy: Go for it.

Caryn: All right.

Carmen: As you know, we wrote a book called Evolutionaries and we study …

Caryn: Yes.

Carmen: … study a lot of different leaders who help people and organizations and teams through a transformational process, and I think, in a lot of ways, that’s what we’re talking about right now.

Caryn: [crosstalk 00:17:01].

Carmen: I want to ask you sort of a big-picture question around the food industry. You talked about your restaurant being on the 2% you’d ever work for, that, you know, you know where the sources are, you have relationships with your vendors, you buy local, everything’s fresh, you can’t have a tomato on your burger because they’re not in season right. Come back in two months and you can have a tomato.

I love all that, and I want to ask you: that might be 2% right now. When you look at the future of restaurants in America, are you optimistic? Do you see a change happening? What’s out there? What can we expect?

Caryn: I am optimistic, actually. Um, it just seems like more and more restaurants that are opening kind of have a similar vibe happening of, “We want to buy the local stuff,” and people seem to be valuing that; and I really think that, you know, voting with your fork, that that is something that can [00:18:00] really affect not only just restaurants and our bodies but our entire country, and I think that the more we vote with our fork for things that match up with what we want for our future, for our health, and for this great place that we live, the better; and I think people are getting that more and more. There’s more documentaries coming up, there’s more food shows coming up about that kind of stuff; so I think … I think it’ll be really interesting to see, you know, in ten years, what new restaurants look like then.

Randy: You know, it’s interesting you say that. I was just … literally two or three days ago, I spent a few days at the JW Marriott Hotel in downtown Chicago, and I was doing a planning session; and it was for basically three days I was eating the food that was provided by the hotel catering staff, and they were … it was typically a buffet that was served to the client group, and I was struck right between the eyes again and again at how often, on the little cards in front of the heated dish there, it would say, “Fresh pasta sourced at Pasta something or other on … you know … across the street using organic flour,” and you know, it was … everything there was an effort being put into every single dish to say that it was as local and as fresh as was reasonable, all the way through to their ice cream that they were serving which was some home-churned heavy cream, blah, blah, blah, you know.

And I thought, “Wow, okay, this is a JW Marriott.” Admittedly, it’s one of their flagship hotels, but …

Caryn: That’s impressive.

Randy: … you just don’t normally see that kind of attention to that stuff in the godforsaken food that shows up in most hotels.

Carmen: Yeah, I was just in Birmingham, Alabama, and, you know, Alabama is not known for its …

Randy: Alabama’s not, but Birmingham is.

Carmen: But this is what I want to say is I was very surprised they were doing an hour on their local public radio station [00:20:00] on Farmed Fork and the Farmed Fork movement in Birmingham, and people growing their own gardens, and just all sorts of really interesting little restaurants that were popping up, and I thought, “Gosh, this sounds like I’m listening to OBB right now,” which is Oregon …

Randy: Which is Oregon …

Carmen: Oregon Public Radio right now, and here I am in Birmingham, Alabama. So I do think that there’s something happening out there.

Randy: Um, I have a question for you that’s on a slightly different topic.

Caryn: Yeah.

Randy: You know, as it relates to issues with food … what about issues with alcohol? I mean, I likes me some beer and wine, and I don’t always think it likes me back.

Caryn: Yeah.

Carmen: So what do you say to that, Caryn.

Caryn: Well, that’s a … my intuitive drinker would say …

Randy: An intuitive drinker!

Carmen: And I don’t think we can study toddlers for that. I’m not sure.

Caryn: But, yeah … no, we have to go … we have to go a little older, and you can’t too young to meet your intuitive drinker because that usually doesn’t come in until probably after 30. But like one thing that I notice is, “Well, yeah, I like the taste of beer, but I can only drink one and then I’m so full from it, and so I like to drink beer that’s on cask because the … you know, it just has very little carbonation and it just sits better in my stomach, or I know that I feel better drinking red wine than white wine. So there are ways to do it.

Randy: And again …

Caryn: Yeah.

Randy: … just listen to your body.

Carmen: It’s all about listening to your body.

Randy: Right, and …

Carmen: Wow! Let’s have Caryn on again.

Caryn: And if you’re hung over, good luck. Good luck trying to get in touch with your intuitive eater.

Randy: That’s a good point. Yeah. That’s why eat all that weird crap when you’re hung over. “Yes, I need … “

Caryn: Yeah.

Randy: “… I need four chili dogs.” Yeah. I know.

Carmen: There you go. There you go.

Randy: Oh, my God. No, and Carmen, I’m sorry you haven’t had a chance to meet her because the vibe you’re getting with her voice you get … it’s even … it’s like more magnified when you like are there. It’s like being with Yoda somehow.

Carmen: Well, Caryn, there you have it. You are our Yoda, and I hope that you will join us again [00:22:00] because this was just a delight.

Caryn: You bet.

Randy: It was a delight, and …

Carmen: And I have a feeling we could talk with Caryn about any subject.

Randy: I think so.

Carmen: Yeah.

Randy: Hey, the restaurant is Falling Sky in Eugene, Oregon, an amazing place. Just look it up online there and you’ll find it.

Carmen: And the eBook is A Bite-Size Guide to Intuitive Eating.”

Randy: And you can pick that up at caryngillen … go ahead and spell that for us one more time, please.

Caryn: caryngillen.com.

Randy: .com, and we should all read it immediately.

Carmen: Yes, and we’re going to go and do that right now.

Randy: Right now, and we can’t wait to talk to you again, and we certainly thank all of our listeners who follow us around with this wonderful podcast, and we’re going to see you next time; and we’ll be thinner and just more self- …

Carmen: And more intuitive.

Randy: … and more intuitive than we ever were on the Evolutionaries podcast.

The post Vote With Your Fork – Or, How to Never Diet Again: Our conversation with Intuitive Eating expert and restaurateur, Caryn Gillen appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

Podcast Transcript

• Randy:  Welcome to the Evolutionaries podcast. I’m Randy Harrington.
• Carmen:  And I’m Carmen Voilliqué, and today we have a special guest, Katie Kelley.
• Randy:  Yay!
• Carmen:  Yay, Katie Kelley, and she’s from Legacy Builder. She has a new book coming out at the end of this year called Leading Ladies.
• Randy:  I love the title.
• Carmen:  Isn’t that awesome. The subtitle is “Your Guide to Clarity, Influence, and Fortune.”
• Randy:  Like that, too.
• Carmen:  I would like all of those things … in business and beyond. Welcome, Katie.
• Katie:  Thank you so much, so fun to be here already.
• Carmen:  Good.
• Randy:  It’s always nice. It’s nice to have you here, too. Often we do these interviews on the phone, but it’s really nice to have you here in Studio del Evolutionary.
• Carmen:  Yes. Katie is here from Portland, Oregon, but she was in New York City before that, living the big life.
• Randy:  How’s the adjustment going from New York to PDX, Portlandia.
• Katie:  Well, the transition from a singleton in Manhattan to being married and a mother to two has all made transition to Oregon all the pleasurable because I can’t even fathom or wrap my head around doing what I’m doing now back in the Big Apple.
• Randy:  Oh, I can imagine.
• Carmen:  Let’s talk about that for a minute.
• Katie:  Sure.
• Carmen:  What are you doing now, Katie?
• Katie:  Sure. So essentially, I’m a leadership coach, so I support individuals whether in-house folks who are headed towards executive roles, or some entrepreneurs who are typically those who opted out of management roles and wanted to start their own business. I really see them as the same type of person.
• Carmen:  The way I crossed your path was … you do a lot of work in developing women executives …
• Katie:  That’s right.
• Carmen:  … and women managers, and one of the reasons I really wanted to have you come on and talk with us around the concept of evolutionaries is that it seems to me that the topic of women in leadership, women in business, is just hot right now.
• Katie:  It is.
• Carmen:  It’s the thing to talk about right now.
• Katie:  It is.
• Carmen:  [00:02:00] And I just wanted to pick your brain on that topic for a minute. Why do you think it’s so  hot right now?
• Katie:  The most direct answer to that is … we have to talk about the Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, right? I mean, she’s brought this kind of age-old conversation to now … she’s in England today promoting it … to the international medial platform that is. If you haven’t read the book, men of women, I highly encourage you to actually read the book because I don’t think the media buzz is doing the actual narrative the justice it deserves.
• Carmen:  Mmm.
• Katie:  It’s a really well-written book.
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  It’s just time, you know, as, you know, globalization has impacted, you know, business in our world and now social media. It’s really kind of … we were talking about this morning … you, the whole paradigm of “business as usual” is really being kind of turned upside-down, and businesses are seeing the real value loss of women leaving their organizations, so it’s time to say, you know, what do we  need to do to keep these women onboard?
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  What is it that they’re missing, that we’re missing for them; and in turn these conversations and these changes are going to make it a better environment for men, women, …
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  … families, society.
• Carmen:  You know, as you’re saying that, what it makes me think about: we work with a lot of different technology firms, and, you know, they’re always looking for those moments of disruption …
• Katie:  Mhm.
• Carmen:  … that you need disruption in order to innovate.
• Katie:  Sure.
• Carmen:  … and as you were saying that I was thinking, “Well, maybe that’s kind of … that is what’s special right now is that we do see a time of disruption in business, in global economics …
• Katie:  Yup.
• Carmen:  … in government, and that that may be where we have the opportunity, then …
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  … to say what we want the future to be.
• Katie:  Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know … I call myself “Sex-in-the-City generation” … right? … so I’m moving into my 39th year this summer and, you know, I was raised to go after my career as vigorously as my brother was, and [00:04:00] now I may have a more high level of drive than the average woman … and man, I am told … but you know, I … that’s for another day.
•   But I, you know, I really focused on my career throughout my 20s, and then my mom and dad were like, “Um, where are the grandbabies?” You know, I got some real heat for not making that a priority, so now we’re just trying to figure out … so what does that type of woman look like who then becomes a mom and still wants her career, but also enjoys, maybe, being a mom; and it doesn’t even have to be, you know, a person who has a family. You know, in my book I talk about, you know, it’s being written for women who want more joie de vivre in their life. It’s not necessarily kids, it’s just …
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  … they don’t want to be at the office, you know, 20-hour days.
• Carmen:  So if women want to get this conversation going …
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  … and I noticed in your explanation you’ve brought up men quite a few times, and Randy and I talk about the issue of women in business and [women in leisure 00:04:58] all the time, and I think men have a huge role to play in that conversation.
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  How do women get the conversation going in their organizations?
• Katie:  I think the most direct way … you were talking about how to get sponsorship for coaching, too … right? … is to always tie it into a conversation around your performance review. So where am I headed? Where is the organization headed? What do I need to continue to pull up those around me and help us meet our business objectives?
•   You know, and ideally, if you can get some 360 feedback built into that, it makes all the richer kind of the argument, if you will, for kind of building in coaching into your kind of performance planning over the year.
• Carmen:  Tell me … you’re talking about the importance of coaching …
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  … as a developmental piece in this move towards maybe reaching our highest potential in leadership …
• Katie:  Sure.
• Carmen:  … or getting that next executive position or whatever it is, and [00:06:00] your background is in psychotherapy and sales, right? How did you end up in executive coaching and why is this a passion for you?
• Katie:  So great question. Um … and who helped me get to this answer is one of my dear colleagues, Cindy Tortorici, and … we talked about earlier … the women who …
• Carmen:  She’s in our book, Evolutionaries.
• Katie:  Yeah. She is the ultimate connector.
• Carmen:  Yes.
• Katie:  So she is CEO of The Link for Women, and she relies upon a model of Simon Sinek’s who … Simon Sinek wrote Start with Why, and so his model is that most business, when you ask what they do, they talk about the what and the how, and he really encourages people to dive deeper than that, to understand what your personal brand is, what your “why” is, you know, what your inherent motivation is, not only in your day-to-day business but throughout all of our relationships, and this should transcend your relationship with your boss, as well with your partner at home.
•   So I say all of this because, when Cindy helped me uncover my “why,” it finally answered the question you just did which is, “Wha … ? Psychotherapy? Sales? Leadership coach? What?”
•   So when … I loved being a psychotherapist. It was, you know, thoroughly rewarding, obviously, intrinsically, and the good that I would … you know, you do in that kind of work; but my challenge was: I enjoyed helping people understanding their pain, but it was frustrating to then not help them move forward. I was always getting my hand rapped by my supervisors because I was never … I was always then trying to then pull the clients into kind of their next phase of life, and that’s not what you’re supposed to do as a therapist. You’re just supposed to stay where the client wants you to stay.
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  As a coach, I’m allowed and given permission and often … and of course, expected … to pull my clients up and beyond, you know, to their fullest potential. This is the equation as … my “why” is to help people to cure their pain and to inspire them to action; so the therapist helped me cure their pain, [00:08:00] the coach allows me to inspire action, so together, as a leadership coach, I am able to do both things and, thus, live in my “why.”
• Randy:  Well, there you go.
• Carmen:  Wow. That was cool.
• Randy:  That was … yeah. I think wrote about that in the book.
• Carmen:  Sign me up! We did, we did … chapter 3 or something like that.
• Randy:  Yeah, I remember that. In listening to your answer, I was struck by the fact that you were able to … it all seemed to clear. You know, once the “why” was in place, it was like, “Well, duh. Of course. That makes perfect sense.”
• Carmen:  Yeah.
• Randy:  Now as you are doing this work in coaching, I want to tie back to the top of this conversation around the opportunity that seems to be emerging as a result of the transformation of business that offers … and I’m saying this as a question … new opportunity for women in business? New opportunity for women leaders? I mean, are you optimistic right now, uh, about … ?
• Katie:  Oh, yeah, I’m very optimistic. You know, what often, unfortunately, gets the headlines is kind of what’s scintillating. Right? So Marissa Mayer making that decision about everyone needing to come back to the office …
• Randy:  Mhm.
• Katie:  … that was a business decision she needed to make based on the data that was before her. If it was a man it wouldn’t be as provocative, but because it was a woman making that decision on what is looked upon as kind of a woman’s right … right? … to have that flexibility, that’s why it got the scandal.
•   I say this because that could be perceived as, “Oh, this is going to be a negative thing.” I think the more women we have sitting at the boardroom, the more women we have making those big decisions that are going to impact the total organization, I know a lot of men who are, you know, very eager and excited to be kind of the more at-home dad, the soccer dad, are very much embracing of having their wife being the bread-winner and the one out on the road. I mean, that’s a trend I see more and more …
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  … ‘m sure you do, too, with female executives, so …
• Carmen:  Yeah.
• Katie:  So, yes, I think that this is a good thing. Why I have a business is because there’s a specific skill set that these women [00:10:00] do need to hone, oftentime, that doesn’t come naturally, that allows them to sit at the table.
• Carmen:  It seems to me like a lot of these sort of injustices or inequalities can happen in spaces where we are not able to talk about them or name them or have those conversations, and one of the things that I am optimistic about and see as very encouraging is how much more welcome these conversations are in many organizations. A big turning point for me, as a consultant, was getting to the point where I realized: we can bring up women’s issues in a workplace or women in leadership positions, and all the men at the table don’t just totally freak out.
• Katie:  Mhm.
• Carmen:  I mean, I always thought, “Well, if you bring that up, everybody’s going to be uncomfortable.”
• Katie:  Mhm.
• Carmen:  And so, you know, I would find myself waiting for men to bring the topic up; and now that I look at that, I think, “That’s just crazy. Why would … ?” You know, they’re feeling awkward about it. Why would they name a … ?
•   So, do you ever worry about whether we have enough women …
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  … in these roles, which would be a great thing to ask, but it’s just strange sometimes …
• Katie:  Mhm.
• Carmen:  … I think, for them to be the ones who bring it up.
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  And what I have found is, with so many CEOs, if we’re talking about, “Well, we’ve got a new VP or operations position open and we’re looking at these three candidates and they’re all men,” if I say, “Well, and are there any women on your team that you think might be good for that?” they’ll actually go, “Well, I hadn’t really thought about … you know, we actually do have two that maybe blah, blah, blah,” and they’ll just jump right into the conversation; and it’s not at all as awkward as I had …
• Randy:  I agree there.
• Carmen:  … made up in my head …
• Katie:  Yes.
• Carmen:  … that it would be. You know?
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Randy:  We’ve seen some very traditional organizations that are really embracing …
• Katie:  Mhm.
• Randy:  … the conversation about, “Oh, yeah, maybe we should have some kind of development program around, uh, you know, the women in the organization or what have you.” It’s nice to see.
• Carmen:  Yeah, and so I guess where I’m going with that [00:12:00] story is that some of the barriers … I created them in my own mind.
• Randy:  Ha, ha, ha. Right.
• Carmen:  You know?
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  I did. These are … it’s nowhere near as weird of a conversation as I thought it would be in business from a consulting perspective.
• Katie:  If you take it all on and say, “Oh my … you know … how are we really going to shift culture this much, so massively?” Right? “How are we going to … ” We’ve been at the 15% women at the executive role for like 25 years or so. It’s been pretty persistent. So it’s just those little steps you can take.
•   I interviewed COO of BlogHer, Alisa Camahart Page, and she said the same thing. She said, “You know, if a big conference announces its speakers and it’s all Caucasians, or if it’s all men, or whatever, you know, instead of just griping about it on social media …
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  … or whatever  some people may do that’s really unproductive, you know, she’ll just offline email the conference and just say, “Hey, you know, I think it would really add enormous value to have a more diverse lineup of speakers.”
• Carmen:  Right.
• Katie:  “Here are some dynamos who have a more diverse background you should give some thought to,” and people are always very receptive for the most part.
• Carmen:  Isn’t that interesting, though.
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  We were just putting together an event for a client, and the client said, “Oh, we’ve got these superstars. I think it would be really great to showcase this person and person.” They gave me a list of five people, and it was all men, and I wrote back and said, “I think that looks great. Now do you have any folks who are under 30 … ?”
• Katie:  Mhm.
• Carmen:   ” … and do you have any women that you think who kind of round this list out?” and they came back with, “Oh, gosh, we didn’t even think about that. Oh, here. There’s this person, this person … ” but they didn’t take offense.
• Katie:  Right.
• Carmen:  It was more just like, “Yeah, yeah, let’s build on that,” and so I think you’re right. I think there’s … there’s a piece …
•   Randy tells a great story. He used to, in a lot of his keynotes, tell the story about how we get into a mode where we think it’s so hard to change a culture, and … you know where I’m going with this, it’s about conversations. [00:14:00] Would you tell that story? It’s like …
• Randy:  Well, you know, basically, culture is the language of this, the expressed communication of the organization, so if you want to change the culture you literally just change the words that you’re using or you bring more definition to those words …
• Female:  Mhm.
• Randy:  … but you become very conscious, I guess, of the communication in the organization; and all of a sudden, everything is malleable, everything can change, and it’s not so set in stone as we thought.
•   You know, and as it relates to that communication piece, one of my questions for you … I remember I took a graduate seminar in organizational communication around gender differences in communication, and it was a very difficult class for me to deal with, in large part because I had a really … I didn’t care for my professor particularly … and I guess I would just ask you straight up: you’re in this world working … what is the manifestation of gender differences in communication? Is there a difference in the way men and women are talking in organizations, and how do you characterize those differences?
• Katie:  Yeah, that’s a great question. I mean, I hate to talk in polarizing terms because it’s just not fair.
• Randy:  I know. That was  part of my problem with that class, actually.
• Katie:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  So …
• Randy:  But at the same time, the literature is very clear that there actually are these …
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  … more or less substantive differences …
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  … and I’m just wondering: how is that showing up in the modern organization?
• Katie:  Yeah, that’s a great question. I … you know, perhaps one is that men tend to be, again, pretty focused on the business objective at hand, and one kind of concern is when women overly focus on the working relationships versus the actual business goals …
• Randy:  Mhm.
• Katie:  … and that’s where, you know, inherently … again, this is grossly generalized …
• Randy:  Sure.
• Katie:  … but inherently we, as women, are caretakers, right? So Carmen gave me this phenomenal interview for my book and talked about the danger of women kind of falling into the mother-hen role and that that really [00:16:00] impedes great management, that, you know, part of managing and really leading well is letting people suffer to some extent, you know, in their own development process.
• Randy:  Hmm.
• Katie:  Am I doing that justice?
• Carmen:  Yeah, my … well, thank you for bringing it up. I appreciate it.
• Katie:  Yeah, it’s wonderful.
• Carmen:  Yeah, one of the things I see in coaching the women executives that I coach is that it’s very easy … and this is a generalization … but it’s very easy for women sometimes to fall into the trap of protecting, so I call is the “mother bear phenomenon.” These are my people … and you talk about silos … in some ways, women can build them and protect them better than men because we’ve got that instinct of: these are my people, I’m going to protect them from all harm; and that may not actually be letting managers in the company that have tremendous potential experience the mistakes and the downfalls, and frankly, sometimes, the criticism from the … you know … other areas of the organization that they need in order to reach their highest potential.
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  So you’re not really doing them the favor that you think they’re doing.
• Katie:  Right.
• Carmen:  Yeah.
• Katie:  I mean, the other one, of course, the big one that sticks out, is that success and likeability are not positively correlated for women but they are for men. I mean, that’s like … that’s a real big one we’ve got to tackle, and you look at all the ways that, you know … kind of Hilary Clinton is kind of eviscerated at times in ebbs and flows, but she’s a pretty phenomenal, you know, international businesswoman now, and just the way, I think, she kind of bit back to a media person who asked her what she was wearing recently at some event. It’s like, “Would you ever ask a man that in my status?” like, “What suit he was wearing?” like, “What does that have to do with the price of bread right now?”
• Carmen:  Now, I cannot divulge my source, this source must remain protected, but I was recently in a place where I heard a story, a man who worked very closely with Hilary Clinton under … [00:18:00] as she was Secretary of State and is now working under John Carey … and said he did not vote for Hilary in the primaries and voted for Obama and everything else, “After working for her and watching the way that she worked, not only with staff but … you know … in all of the different countries, and now watching John Carey come … this person’s words … swaggering in …  William, our audio guy, will love this one … swinging his dick around, that is … I quote … that people are ticked. They’re totally ticked off. They’re really sad to not be working for her.”
• Katie:  Mhm.
• Carmen:  They were very proud of what she did, and you know, that could he do it all over again he would have voted for her now. Yeah.
• Randy:  Wow.
• Carmen:  Wow, yeah.
• Randy:  I heard him, in that press conference coming out of North Korea … or he was in South Korea talking about North Korea … and my thought was, “Boy, he’s talking loud.” Gaa! It’s like, “NOW I’M GOING TO SAY THESE WORDS,” and I was like, “Whoa! Dude! Settle down.”
• Female:  Calm down.
• Randy:  Yeah. Golly.
• Female:  Anyway, this is not about that. But, you know …
• Randy:  No, but it is about that. That’s exactly what it’s about.
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  It’s a fundamental difference in the [00:19:18], the point of view that is being, you know, kind of manifest, and what are the implications of that in foreign policy or business or anything else?
•   So let me ask a question in a more positive way. Would you look at the women that are rocking …
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Randy:  … the women that you believe have it, that you think you could hold up … Carmen is always talking to … when she coaches the young women in the organizations that I’ve heard her talk to, it’s always like, “You need to find somebody to look at.”
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  “You need to find somebody … “
• Female:  Yeah, that’s right. Right.
• Randy:  “… who you can track with and who can become a mentor to you.”
•   So when you look at those great examples, what are they doing that’s so magical?
• Katie:  The biggest missing piece for a lot of the young moms who have big jobs is, you know: who really manages life inside the home and for the [00:20:00] kids? So they’re typically women who have figured that piece out … whether it’s a nanny, whether it’s a like completely hand-on dad … so they don’t have to stress and kind of be frazzled at the ends of …
• Randy:  Nice. Yeah.
• Katie:  … and the beginnings of their day. Yeah, I mean, I think mentoring is a huge buzzword right now and something that’s so critical, so they figure that piece out for them, and Sheryl actually has a brilliant chapter tackling this topic.
•   I did a TV segment on, you know, what the responsibility if of a mentee, because the focus in this conversation is always like, “What can a mentor do for me?” and you really need to under: it is a two-way street in a mentorship relationship. The successful mentor-mentees are the mentees who understand they have something to offer and that the mentor is looking to, you know, kind of have that kind of quid pro quo relationship; and then those with just the rock-solid clarity vision. Right? So they know where they want to go and they’re living a life of alignment professionally.
• Randy:  Really nicely said.
• Katie:  Thanks.
• Randy:  And what’s fun about that answer is it applies just as well to a man.
• Katie:  Of course. Of course. And that’s what’s so important about this. I think that it is such an exciting time. You were just talking about how the Dali Lama has often been asked, you know, most recently, “What is going on in our mad, mad world?” talking about yesterday’s awful incident in Boston, and he just repeatedly is just saying, “The answer lies in creating a world that is most welcoming to mothers.” Right?
• Randy:  Right. I mean, basically, yeah. His answer is, you know: it’s not a mystery. If you want to understand the kind of communication dynamics and behavioral dynamics that are going to make the world a better place, you need look …
• Female:  Economics.
• Randy:  … no farther than the women in your life.
• Female:  Yeah. Yeah.
• Randy:  And he says it just that simply.
• Female:  Right.
• Randy:  It’s like the women have it, you know?
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  The Grateful Dead said, “Women are smarter,” and you know, there you go. I mean, they kind of … but I mean … and it’s … I don’t mean it in that cliché kind of way. What the Dali Lama, I think, is trying to say is that [00:22:00] the roots of compassion manifest very nicely when we understand the kind of nurturing and protective communication that we typically associated with women.
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  And I think, if we pressed the Dali Lama a little bit more, he would the first one to say, “But this has nothing to do with gender. This is about manifesting care and compassion for each other … “
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  … you know … “regardless of gender … “
• Female:  Right.
• Randy:  ” … of ethnicity or anything else,” for that matter.
• Katie:  And I always love … Arianna Huffington …
• Randy:  Yes.
• Katie:  … is, of course, one of my ultimate idols … right? … and what I love about her: she’s obviously all over social media throughout her …
• Randy:  You bet.
• Katie:  … Huffington Post, but she has a lot of posts herself, and she’s always talking about just this, you know, this awful culture of kind of “overworkedness,” brought to you by the mobile technology world, brought to you by globalization, and that it’s not serving any of us well …
• Carmen:  Mhm.
• Katie:  … in a lot of regards and as far as our own personal wellbeing.
• Randy:  Absolutely.
• Katie:  So I appreciate her being really persistent with that kind of dialog, and all of it is tied into how to make the world a better place for women and men in that, you know, the current system is broken … you know? … whether it’s the financial services or just the way we do business now, is not good for any of us, you know, health-wise, quality-of-life-wise.
•   I mean, let’s just, you know, look kind of across the pond.
• Randy:  Absolutely.
• Katie:  I think some other countries have kind of …
• Randy:  Where they  have a max work week of 32 hours a week.
• Katie:  … have a much better system. Yeah.
• Randy:  You know?
• Katie:  Yeah. What is it?
• Randy:  Can you imagine that? Can you imagine only working 32 hours a week? Holy crap.
• Carmen:  You know, I was just facilitating a merger …
• Randy:  I would dig that.
• Carmen:  … a cultural integration piece of a merger, and one of the big loss moments for one of the groups coming in, that was run by two women, is they had been able to set that company up so that every other Friday certain people in the company got every other Friday off, so, I mean, they would switch this around. They made it work so that, you know every two weeks …
• Randy:  Sure.
• Carmen:  … every two weeks you’re getting a day off.
• Randy:  Nice.
• Carmen:  And …
• Randy:  That went away.
• Carmen:  [00:24:00] That went away. And they were like, “Well, what’s the big deal? Every works <grumbling sounds> What’s all this grumbling? … you know? … people are just so [inaudible 00:24:04] there and so entitled and [inaudible 00:24:05].
• Randy:  <bombastic> You’re entitled, by God … you know.
• Carmen:  You know, the whole deal, right? And this one very brave woman finally raised her hand and said, “I would just like to share the story of what I lost when I lost that day.”
• Katie:  Mmm.
• Carmen:  “My mom in stage IV cancer, and we always did her doctor’s appointment that day, and it’s an hour’s drive, and we would drive for an hour there, she’d get her chemo and all her stuff, and then we would drive an hour home; and now I have to pay someone to drive my mother, and it’s impersonal,” and she started to tear up.
•   And during this conversation, of course, the CEOs and so on of  the other company were there, and they actually … they stopped and they just said, “We didn’t get it at all. We’re not recognizing that there’s true loss here.”
•   And just one more piece on this.
• Katie :  Yeah.
• Carmen:  It was interesting, too, having a conversation, we talk about [Judge Anik 00:25:02] in our book, and several times on this podcast, but I was having a conversation with her and she said, “You know, as a federal judge,” if only she had the magic wand and could really change one big thing, what she would change is for us to have a four-day work week, because it would make healthier families, she would see less people in her courtroom, in the system …
• Katie:  Hmm.
• Randy:  Hmm.
• Carmen:  You know. She said, “People could have gardens. They could grow their own food. They could make … ” you know, you have a day to go grocery shopping, and it’s just all these things that she started to explain that were really like parts of the fabric of our social safety net.
• Randy:  Mhm.
• Carmen:  That would be solved by a four-day work week, and the more she started talking … and I’m sure there’s, you know, there’s tons of research out there, and I know this is a topic for another podcast …
• Katie:  Yeah.
• Carmen:  But you’re talking about really big stuff here, Katie.
• Katie:  Yeah. Yeah.
• Randy:  Um, I have a quick question for you: It takes courage to get a coach. [00:26:00] A lot of people …
• Female:  Doesn’t that mean you have a deficiency? Right?
• Randy:  Yeah. I just be broken.
• Female:  If you say, “I need a coach,” there must be something wrong with me.
• Randy:  I must be screwed up or … you know, and the fact that I need a psychotherapist coach, I mean, now I’m really in big trouble.
• Female:  And I should do that in my performance review? Say, “Hey, so what about getting me a coach?”
• Randy:  And yet, what I see in my clients is the ones that are really top-drawer are seeking coaching all the time.
• Female:  Yeah.
• Randy:  So how do you convince people that they’re not broken when they need a coach?
• Katie:  For me it’s like: just look to the people who inspire you. Who are you drawing from and what makes them so incredible? You know, I don’t think coaching’s for everybody. I know a lot of my community benefits just from the content I put out there, so they don’t need the one-on-one, they just grow from just reading and … or, you know, listening to your podcasts, you know, so I don’t think the actual mechanical relationship of coaching is always necessarily. That being said, it’s inspiring to me to work with people who are up to big things in this world, and everyone knows: the more that you’re looking to take on and accomplish in the world, the more support you need under your wings to get it done.
• Randy:  That’s a nice way to phrase that. Yeah.
• Katie:  You just … we simply can’t be all things to all people, so if you have a coach, whether it’s a financial coach, a leadership coach, a … you know? … technical … whatever it is, you just need to be really clear on what you are looking to get out of it. So that’s why, you know, I’m a big fan of using tools, using assessment forms, to pre- and post the work I do so that I’m clear on the value I’m bringing, so that when I meet folks and they say, “This is what’s going on. This is kind of where I’m at. Do you think that working with you would be of benefit?” and then I’m able to show them, you know, how I make an impact in my clients’ lives.
• Randy:  Nice. I like it. And I think [00:28:00] that the business of using the tools is a big deal because you’ve got … <bombastic> “ROI, by God. We got real data here. We’re not just messing around. We can prove that there’s been a change.”
• Katie:  Yes. Yes.
• Carmen:  Never mind that everyone who works for this person has said that, “Wow. There’s been a huge change,” but … yeah … now we have data.
• Katie:  Exactly.
• Carmen:  All right. Well, thank you so much, Katie, for your time.
• Katie:  Thank you so much for having me. What a treat.
• Carmen:  [00:28:22] Katie Kelley from Legacy Builder … it’s like …
• Katie:  Legacy Builder Coaching.
• Randy:  Legacybuildercoaching.com
• Katie:  .com, that’s right.
• Carmen:  And check out her book, coming soon: Leading Ladies.
• Randy:  Leading Ladies, again, love the title. Love having you here. It’s delightful. We’re going to have to have you back.
• Female:  [crosstalk 00:28:41].
• Randy:  And feel free to join us anytime and shake us up a little bit.
• Katie:  Hear, hear. Thank you so much. It’s been so much fun. Appreciate it.
• Carmen:  All right. Please join us next time on Evolutionaries podcast.

The post Women in Leadership (and men too!) – Clarity, Influence & Fortune: Our conversation with executive coach Katie Kelley appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.

That’s the title of an article by the CEO of Aureus Asset Management, Karen Firestone, in a recent Harvard Business Review posting.

It’s just one of hundreds of articles, interviews, blogs and books that are popping right now on the topic of women in leadership. The role that women play in the world of business, government and society at large has been in important topic of conversation for decades, but in the last year something seems different. It’s like something new is brewing…  I can’t quite put my finger on it, but the sense that NOW is a defining moment for women is strong. Never before in my lifetime have I felt so optimistic about the future for women. Or so worried.

I believe we stand at a point of inflection. The timing is right. The moment of “disruption” is here, and there is an opening for significant change before the portal is closed tight once again. We can get it right (and by “we” I mean women and men), or we can screw it up big time.

In the article above, several women share their stories of how clients often make the assumption that women are subordinate to men – especially in professions such as medicine, law, finance, and technology. Most of the examples are variations of the same story: a woman founds a practice with a man, they hold a lot of client meetings together, the clients assume she reports to him, and she doesn’t correct them for fear of making the situation awkward for everyone.  Comments on the article range from “she should say something” to recommendations on how to say something and not make it offensive to the client, to making the roles more clear through nameplates, letter heading, etc. All very good advice.

But here’s my question:  Why doesn’t THE GUY say anything?!?!

OK, I admit that I pretty much know all the various answers to that question. But none of them are good enough. Most of all, the reasons are stupid. Because increasing the role of women in leadership is good for everyone. We could fill stadiums with the amount of research that concludes increasing the number of women in leadership positions in business, government, education, health care – yes, even the military – results in stronger productivity, better morale, improved communication, higher return on investment, and on and on.

Men I know who have had the opportunity to report to a female boss, while often hesitant in the beginning, end up concluding that they prefer it. From young men taking their first jobs out of MBA programs to experienced diplomats who worked for Hilary Clinton, the story is the same – women can be good leaders. One of the women I coach moved into the CEO position of a large financial services organization last year. She is the first woman to hold the role and was following a man who had held the position for over 10 years. The Board of Directors was nervous. Had they made the right decision? While the man she was replacing was a classic good ol’ boy, with lots of charisma, a strong physical presence, and a traditional “directive” leadership style, the woman was more reserved, thoughtful, pragmatic, and focused on “inclusive” methods of leadership and consensus-building. Could she really do the job? Would people accept her differing approach? Just one year later, she received the highest employee survey ratings in the areas of “trust”, “leadership” and “good decision-making”.  People don’t just “like” her, they believe in her – they want to follow where she leads.

But it’s not just men who need to change their view.

Women hold themselves back all the time. This may not be so much a question of lack of ambition (as the current debate over Sheryl Sandberg’s message rages on) as it is a question of self-criticism. I was surprised and saddened by the recent Dove campaign to share findings from an experiment conducted by a Forensics sketch artist to compare the way women described themselves as opposed to the way people who met them described them. The side-by-side  sketches are worth checking out – proving that a picture really does say a thousand words. (Thanks mom, for sharing this!)

You see, it all starts when we’re young. The quest for beauty teaches us to analyze every imperfection, and it’s only a matter of time before we let those honed skills of criticism bleed over into evaluating our professional lives and our leadership capacity. There’s a ton of literature out there on how we can help our young girls to weather this storm of impossible beauty standards, but that’s a subject for another blog. For now, I will give a big shout out to the new Portland women’s professional soccer team – The “Thorns” and their decision to partner with Girls, Inc. to help our young women grow up to be “Strong, Smart, and Bold”! (To learn more about the powerful connection between women’s sports and women’s confidence in business and leadership check out the book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Dr. Mary Pipher).

Things are different this time.

I applaud the women that are leading the charge today in public discourse: Marissa Mayer, Sheryl Sandberg, and Anne-Marie Slaughter. Diversity gurus have long preached the “magic of three” when it comes to combating inequalities, and these three women are both reaping the rewards and paying the price for speaking out. But what is really exciting right now is the shift in the conversation from strategies for success to a need for change.

I remember 10 years ago when I bought a copy of Dr. Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. It was big for me. Of course, I was making many of the “mistakes”. The ticket to admission in “a man’s world” was to learn to play by the rules men use.  And to succeed, once admitted, meant scoring points in a “man’s game”.

What seems different about the conversation now is that we don’t want more women in leadership so they can contribute to the current game – we want them there so they can change the game entirely! Look at Wall Street. Look at the Fortune 50. Look at the U.S. Congress – can it get any more broken than that? Leadership in America sucks right now. It’s time to shake things up. It’s time to change the game and what it means to “win”. A good friend of mine, Chief Judge Ann Aiken, once said to me, “Women keep score differently.” It’s time to take a good, hard look at what we think it means to win in leadership today. It’s time to decide what matters most, what it means to “score” and what it will take for men and women partnering together to build the future we all want for generations to come.

This is a big deal.

The post Women In Leadership: What’s The Big Deal? appeared first on Evolutionaries Transformational Leadership Coaching & Best Practices Media.